A score of zero (as in tennis)

I am a nerd. I love to look up the meaning of words in the dictionary. You’ll see me do that a lot in my blog.

So I looked up the meaning of love and it is listed as a noun, which if you really know love..Especially being a parent, love IS a verb.Now what threw me for a loop was besides the “warm attachment”, and “unselfish and loyal benevolent concern for another” blah blah blah, that was listed there was another description “a score of zero (as in tennis)”.

My lack of coffee attributed to my thoughts of wonder. I thought “How cool, it’s like the bible, love does not keep a list of wrongs…thus, love does not keep score…so the score between two people, would then be…zero, the way it should be when you love another person."

Then I had the “Ah Ha” moment of of…damn ….it’s really about tennis…I

n a perfect world we could have sent help to Myanmar faster than what was allowed, out of another countries fear of the unknown..but love from aid groups around the world are trying to get visas to get in the country, not because it is politically or apolitically correct, but because it is the right thing to do, it is love..love as a verb and empathy for another human being that you do not even know but in tears feel connected with. I feel the “warm attachment and the unselfish and loyal benevolent concern for another”In the perfect world…between countries, for the human race, the score would be zero…the ultimate sacrifice to not compete, but to live and thrive amongst each other in the same planet.

I'm bacccckkkkkkk

Where did the Almighty Heidi go? Simple..the aliens took me on a little sabbatical journey and now I am back cynical as ever. ..and of course, let’s not forget the male bashing 101 series that has just been boiling with brand new stories.
So for my next long awited story will start from square one, left brain vs. right brain.

Men are used to only using one brain, Ok, we all know about him using the one that is covered by a zipper on the lower part of his…region, but it is proven that he uses, most of the time dominantly the right side of the brain. While women…yes women use both. The right spatial part of the brain is where they learn visually not verbally.…aim and shoot…football, baseball, any ball, and video games etc… and sometimes even solving problems. When you say “Honey we need to talk” and it does not sink in, this is why:The left side of the brain is used for verbal skills. Men have to cross way over to the other side of the brain and this is too much work, like getting up to get the remote control off the coffee table when they are inches away on the couch.
Also it is proven hooking up both men and woman to a functional MRI, that while men are playing video games, that the reward center in their brain glows bright colors. While the woman’s reward center stays dim. We don’t get it. Women don’t get the reward pleasure of playing ridiculous games ALL DAY LONG FOR HOURS. We are able to flip over to the left side and say this is dumb, will I get anything accomplished by going to the next level? Absolutely not. Pretend game money means nothing…but don’t tell my son that, he will argue with you all day…the only verbal skills he knows, because after all he is male, and he is always right.
So moral of the story is while playing any kind of game form men….which involves the right side of the brain, reward central is going on.

Perfect example is my youngest son. I was a single mom potty training him, and I could try and TELL him how to aim (although, I did not have much of a clue how you all control that thing, most THINGS I met did not have much control anyway …made myself laugh). I finally got an idea to throw a few cheerios in the toilet since they floated, and told him to aim try and shoot the cheerios. After this experiment all was well in the potty arena. It was not so much the verbal directions that never did any good anyway, it was the spatial ability…aim and shoot…and of course the reward center is yelling Saying “ Yay, you peed on the cheerios! Do it again do it again.”

Perhaps the key to getting housework done is a reward center oriented game. If I put an actual basketball hoop over the washing machine perhaps clothes will automatically fall into there. Maybe if I had a button I could ring everytime something was picked up the floor saying “You are the man, you are awesome and there is no one on this planet like you” Things would be picked up more often. Maybe if I made up invisible money and if you do so many chores you automatically get to go up to the next level and get to put cool things on your pretend car….Ok maybe not, maybe all this time, with a grown man and two boys in the house, to keep pee off the toilet seat I should stick to keeping a box of cheerios in the bathroom.

"Don't look where you fell, but where you slipped"

Another good quote. just had to say it. I am not basing the blog on it though. However I do want to speak on yesterdays.
About an hour afterwards I got a call from my sons doctor. He went in for a physical for school, and we got some routine bloodwork done. I did notice after the fact that one of the blood tests was wrong, instead of checking UA (for urinalysis) which is common in a physical, the doc accidently checked the box below for uric acid.

I was too late for me to get the script changed as my mom was taking the kids the next morning.

The Uric acid came back elevated.

Now unless my 14 year old is a raging alcoholic or has gout, this level should not be increased. Gout is NOT common in children or teenagers, but in males 40-50 years of age. Nathan, is not an alcoholic...that I know of....I laughed, but only for a second.

This abnomal level could be anything from Juvinile RA (Rhematiod Arthritis) to cancer.

There are time like this when I wish I was never a nurse, and completly ignorant of any of this. I am going to get him re-tested, with about 50 dozen other tests next week.

Where did my pineapple go?

Did my pineapple turn out to be that the wrong set of tests were ordered, to avoid future health issues, or worsening of issues already rearing it's ugly head? Bittersweet?

This is the part of the un-controlable life set of circumstances. The inside is screaming to panic, while my mind says, just wait and re-do the test, and go from there. But the moms heart keeps saying...panic panic panic.

Life can sure change on a drop of a dime can't it?

The Almighty Heidi...who can't control the unseen, and hates it.

To reach for something greater, you must first let go of what is in your hand

I like the quote above. All of us humans are such self limitating, by what we precive ourselves to be. I rememeber when I had my daughter I was 18, and pretty poor. Por becomes a way of life, then a lifestyle. It was ok not to have cable or a phone, enough gas to visit my parents, to do the laundry in the sink and hang it on the clothesline to dry. It was alright to eat mac n cheese all the time. This is all I saw my life being.

I look back and I could have been stuck there. Circumstances pulled me out...and up.

Then circumstance, fate, whatever it is, can also be bittersweet. I love fresh pineapple. I like it chilled ice cold, and when I bite into it the juice explodes, and the pineapple itself tastes sweeter than anything. Then there are other times where it is sour, and it makes me pucker, but i eat it anyways.

I would rather have the sweet circumstance, the sweet fate of life. Free will yes....we have it...do we have free will in circumstance...if it concerns another person, like them having a heart attack no..our actions during that time.....yes...our emotions...maybe. Destiny..I guess so...Did I make this path by free will, or did circumstance take over, or is the man upstairs in charge??


Thats as deep as the Almighty Heidi Gets for today. What will tommorrow bring??

The newest phobia list

We all have feard...here are a few I found....Who knew they had names.....


Agateophobia- Fear of insanity.......or am I already insane.....

Athazagoraphobia- Fear of being forgotton or ignored or forgetting...I'm sorry what was your name again?

Autodysomophobia- Fear of one that has a vile odor....Ughhh!

Cacophobia- Fear of ugliness... I see Ugly people....

Dipsophobia- Fear of drinking ...NEVER!!!!!!

Ecclesiophobia- Fear of church..yup I'm a sinner.

Epistemophobia- Fear of knowledge..there are some rednecks I know who have this....my entire x husbands family.

Ergasiophobia- 1) Fear of work or functioning. 2) Surgeon's fear of operating...excuse me?? A surgeon AFRAID to operate????

Eurotophobia- Fear of female genitalia...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!

Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia- Fear of the number 666...well hell I'm afraid to try and say that word.

Ithyphallophobia- Fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis...hahahahahahahahaha!!!! make it stop, basebal baseball baseball....

Linonophobia- Fear of string...no..no not the string!

Opiophobia- Fear medical doctors experience of prescribing needed pain medications for patients...oh heck no bring it on.

Proctophobia- Fear of rectums...no comment

Love the Almightyheidiphobia

Starbucks Stocks Going Down??

I read an article on CNN today and I do not know what to make of it. Stocks have been tumbling for starbucks about 20 percent. It also stated that their feircest rival is Dunkin Dougnuts.??

I am confused. I know that I, the Almighty Heidi, have funded much of Starbucks expansion in the central Florida area. 4 bucks for my grande non fat vanilla latte, and if the kids get something I am blowing easily over twenty bucks, and every now and then a girl just has to have an espresso brownie...(I think a god himself made this brownie).

Now dunkin doughnuts does have good coffee, but it is not the mercedes of coffee, for us hard core caffine addicts. I do not know where this competition comes in...and the atmosphere is not the same. I love the smell of Starbucks and the relaxed atmosphere, and music. Love it. There are mornings, I would just like to be hooked up to the latte machine, like an umbilical cord, and get my fix.

I am soo hard core I have my own espresso, latte' machine, coffe grinder, and all the fixin's, but nothing compares to having it handed to you made just right in the paper cup.

My concern is what happens if stocks continue to go down....will they start downsizing? Oh my GOD!! Will I have to go 20 milesout of my way to get my fix, because they closed down the stores on my way to work, or the bank, the store, and the sitter..and my parents house. OK I WILL.

What if they go bankrupt, and they stop selling coffee?? Am I doomed to finding black market starbucks on the internet, thats really not starbucks at all, but it costs me 1 grand to get...I might just consider it.

Will there be Starbucks rehabs made all around the globe.. for those of us having severe withdrawls? Oh god, I do not want to be around the president of this company when that happens. Life will be miserable. Teachers will be giving bad grades, people will be losing there jobs because they can't function in the morning, and damn it the whole econmmy might just collapse. And where the hell am I gonna get an espresso brownie when it's that time of month?


Latte'

Almighty Heidi

The Almighty Heidi Goes On Vacation

I have been away on vacation to the beach for ten days. I already notice the diffrence in my temprament, and how badly I must have needed this time.
My children are, or beoming teenagers, and my daughter will be 18 in 2 years. I realized that I have not taken them on a trip since they were little and we needed to develop some bonding experiences for them to remember for a lifetime.

Day 1: Got there late, kids bickered about who was going to get the front seat, mom he's on my side of the car.... how much longer, I have to pee...shut up...oh my god......ate went to bed.

Day 2: Woke up early went to the beach around 10 after a mighty big breakfast. My daughters breasts were exposed on a public beach after getting off her boogie board to find her top hanging by a thread. Kids went home tired, bickered about who gets control of the tv, who gets to shower first, mom he hit me...oh my god!!!!

Day 3: Woke up a bt later, got to the beach by two, another day of fun in the sun. Went out for lunch with sand in our shorts, (a bit miserable), showered, bickered over if we were going to see Pirates of the carrbian, spiderman three some horror flick or lovestorey, MOM he's on my side of the car...OH MY GOD

Day 4: After realzing that there were 6 days of vacation left, mom makes it a point to have an adult night out...and gets slammered. The Almighty Heidi thinks that she has had only 2 captain morgans and 2 shots, when in reality, it was 2 captain morgans double tall, the shot was for someones birthday and it was a three gulp shot, thus having to be at least three shots, and the last shooter was enormus as well. Maybe for a grand total of 9 drinks. Almighty Heidi trips over the children who fell asleep on the condo floor, and races to the bathroom over, and over, and over....and over again...all night long. P.S. Happy Birthday Bruce.

Day 5: Not a good day...just not a good day.

Day 6: Recovered fully, kids are rearing to go, we fish, swim, eat, sleep. I get the front seat, No you don't stupid, you got it last time!" OH MY GOD WHO WANTS TO PACK!!! My 14 year old comes out of the shower and loses his towel, and OH MY GOD, I do not know how he got...so...big. I am blinded for life. Once by my daughter and now by my son. Scarred. My youngest son is jealous and asks when will he hit puberty.

Day7: One more adult evening plan since the birthday did not go so well. ZERO drinking involved this time. Went on a boat....it had 7 foot seas that night, the crew, and passangers were all sick, not a bathroom in site not being used...disgusting.

Day 8: We blow 50 dollars at an arcade, 50 dollars on bad tourist food, and I am ready to go. No none of you can sit in the front seat, the remote control is mine, and no you can't have ice-cream. If you do drown in the ocean...there is a possibility, I may forget to tell the lifeguard!!!


Day 9: After many fond memories, Almighty Heidi packs her, and her almighty children up, and go home a day early. All in all a good bonding memorable experience for us all.

Ahhhh vacaton.