Breakdown

I decided that my life over the last few weeks has beed entirely too stressful. In trying to relive that stress in a healthy way, I introduced some new “peaceful” things into my office cubby that were supposed to help bring some serenity, and balance into my workplace environment.

Candle: Aromatherapy and smelling something warm and pleasant has always been relaxing to me. Then I had visions of myself on the front page of the Orlando Sentinel as the employee who was being held on arson charges. I didn’t get the nickname “Grace” for nothing. I will run into walls, fall out of my chair, and with a candle, accidentally set wherever that candle is, on fire. The panic that came with bringing a candle into my cubby, totally contradicted the relaxation that I was trying to get.

Inner Peace Cards: These cards were given to me by a friend/co-worker with affirmations such as: “Anything that bothers you is only a problem within. Only you can experience it, and only you can correct it.”
Ok I get that to an extent. I am being bothered by my significant other. It is a problem within because he is giving me ulcers. I will correct it by packing up and leaving….thus more stress. These cards just don’t work.

Music: Due to an antenna breakage issue, the only clear station that will come in on my tiny radio in my padded cubicle....is country. That is enough to give one a nervous breakdown. Which I did look up on a health site to see if I was close. Here is what I found:

Symptoms of nervous breakdown:

Continuous low mood and tearfulness without any obvious trigger Hello...this is a symptom for every female on the planet.
Loss of sex drive Give me a hot male dancer, and I'll let you know how it goes.
Overwhelming tiredness by day, but inability to go off to sleep at night, often with frequent waking and finally waking unusually early Yup, as seen in my previous blog I have been having nightmares and bolting up from my dreams. If my subconcious would shut the hell up maybe I could get a decent nights sleep.
Appetite and weight can be increased or decreased This is not up for discussion.
A feeling of slowing up, yet often with a sense of restlessness Dunno
A sense of unreality and detachment from life Does daydreaming about leaving everything behind and moving to Hawaii count?
Low self-esteem, irrational guilt and feelings of worthlessness I had irrational guilt over eating the double espresso brownie from Starbucks on Monday.
Lack of drive and motivation *Yawn*
Loss of interest in usual pleasures Well Duh, if you eat chocolate you get fat, if you have sex, there is the possibility of having yet another child, if you drink you get hungover, Kill my x, I go to jail. Whats the matter with this world??
Poor concentration and short-term memory What was the question I can't remember.
Uncontrollable mood swings BITE ME! Oh sorry about that *tearful* I didn't mean it. SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP.
Unexplained physical symptoms and the fear that they might mean something serious I can't figure out if this is another sinus headache or a brain tumor.
Feeling that life is not worth living, sometimes to the point of wanting to end it Nawww and miss all this fun??
Hallucinations There was this one time when I was 16 and smoked something not so legal....


Latte'

Heidi