To Protect And Serve..and find the christmas spirit

This should have been the badge for all moms. No Not the pug...To Serve And Protect...Once we have our children every bone in our body will do anything to protect our children. But as they grow..into..oh say teenagers, it is hard to let go, and let them make some mistakes on there own.

What a tough balancing act. As a single mom you already have such a chore as being nuturer, which is natural to my own spirit, and then to have to be the discipliner..which is not so natural. I did not choose it this way..this is the way life just is.

I will tell you, my kids have turned out pretty good so far, so maybe I am doing something right, or perhaps I am just truly blessed.

The one thing that I have found is that single moms are sacred. they have superpowers that only a woman can posses. For Example:

Super Power 1.We know when something is wrong. Always. Intuition works wonders.

Super Powers 2 THRU 147,25,637,74,582,916,543,268,947,532,198,655,432:

We take care of family finances, laundry, fevers, broken bones, teacher appointments for issues in class,be the taxi mom..and still make dinner at the end of a 9 hour day at work, find time to work out, un jam the roter blades in the garbage disposal for the thrid time this week, dig out the toy car in the of pipes of the toilet, make cookies (after washing hands that is), find the remote control, find the batteries that are missing out of the remote control,take the dogs on a walk, wash the car, mising work taking your child three times a week to physical therapy, wooring about losing your job, all while wondering if my headache is caused by a throbbing brain tumor behind my right eye, and worring about the future, worring about my kids in highschool..................

Especially after a boy texed my daughter a picture of his...oh yes...might as well say it..his you know....that must have came from some porno magazine..because OH MY GODDDDDD

Then calling him up, flying off the handle and trying to find out who his parents are......

Ok..one more time..OH MY GODDDD

Funny how we manage to do all of that, and still feel guilty, not having enough time, or enough money, never feeling..enough.

Gee I wonder why I have insomnia.

So *Cheers* to all the single moms,and moms that have spoused that work 19 hours a day, moms who are unappreciated, or have no support at home..you are welcome in the single mom club too.

Meanwhile I wonder why am I not in the christmas spirit? For the first time ever!
The day after every thanksgiving I have always put the tree up..not this time. Mainly because I had to throw away my fake one, it was barely makin it last year. I wanted to get a real one, have the scent of Christmas in the house..and why not..the pine needles on the floor because I must live to clean. But they are sooo expensive and money has gone beyond the tight factor. It is BAD this year...but thee has been worse.

Where has my faith gone? I miss it..but can't seem to find it. Maybe it is in the same place as the remote control....

So I told myself..this week I will no matter the mood get the lights up, make some cookies, and enjoy the kids...and take away my daughters cell phone....





Well, Thanksgiving came and went. We had some terrific food made by my father, and my children, now I am enjoying the benifits of the leftovers. My only question is..

Who ate all the pie??


I was trying to find the camera and did not find it untill after he left. I know with my mom leaving him he was in no mood for pictures, but I felt it was so important to dig out the picture a few years from now. I remeber looking back at pictures of Easter with my kids..Michael was just barely four, and I was having a rough time just being divorced. There is a picture of me smiling at my child, but my eyes were so sad. I look back and that pain of that time felt like it would last forever...but it didn't, I was ok, I made it through that particular time, that crisis.

My children took a few pics over thanksgiving...there is a picture of me..a picture 10 years later from the easter picture..and I see the same look.

For now, it's time for me to go outside and enjou the 78 degree day. It is absolutly beautiful in florida, and this weather does not last long.




Alien Diffrences

Ok..so I drunk blogged. I was gonna take it down, but like all great things there’s a place in history that you must remember the drowning in the self pity woah is me. I hate those moments because it’s those weak vulnerable times where I forgot to guard my heart, sometimes it is just safer to keep the walls up, maybe not healthy, but this is the way of the almighty Heidi’s self preservation technique that has brought her through many times before.

Soooo like I always do let us change the subject and continue on the path I like the most, which is laughter is the best medicine.

This morning started like any other morning, went out, and walked the dogs. Made my coffee, showered and brushed my teeth. There was something not quite right about my toothpaste. When I looked down at the tube, I realized it was hydrocortisone cream. YUCCCK. Last night I was out on the porch where the big ol’ giant Florida mosquitoes should be gone, but the last of their kind for the winter decided to have one last bite at me. I put the cream on my hand so I would not scratch it all night, and was..well buzzed, and put it in the same drawer as my toothpaste. Nicccceee.

So last night I had yet another night of Insomnia, mixed with stages of sleep with beyond strange dreams. I was restless in the sense of thinking about relationships and how they change over time, and trying to figure out why. I see myself leaving the one I am in, however..damn I am tired of “working” at a relationship, so why have one? So to help answer this I went to the root..the differences between men and women to try and figure out the “why” of certain things.

1. “Girls develop the right side of their brain faster than boys” The right side of the brain is used for talking vocabulary, reading and memory..and intuitive information. So..now you know why your mom always KNEW everything…and your wife or girlfriend can sense what is going on..even if you are trying to hide it..we know. We got one up on you already…and since our memory was developed earlier..yes we remember everything wrong ever done…..and since the vocabulary is put in effect earlier…we will talk about it for the rest of your life.
2. Boys are handled more physically and more robustly than girls and are bounced around more…which I think rules my theory of all men must have brain damage. It makes sense right?
3. Teenage girls talk about boys, clothes and weight…..teenage boys talk about sports, mechanics and function of things….Gee..wonder what funtions they are talking about here…hmmmm.
4. A man’s sense of self is determined through achieving, successes, by doing these things he feels..Competent… I think they do have a little blue pill for competent issue.5. A woman’s sense of self is defined through sharing their feelings..thus my drunken blog, they spend time nurturing talking, sharing and relating.

Well that about does it for the differences for today..and a little note from the almighty heidi..never drink and blog




Sooooo..it is thanksgiving, and let's just say..im pretty well captain morganed up...woohoo. The sad point is my kids are already tryptophaned and asleep..and I am alone..allllllll alone. Lonely..yup.
My dad came over and that was good, but my mom was kind enough to leave him the day befroe, so he is pretty crushed, Thnks mom.
that was really sweet.
Mr. incompetant. mr i don't care about you, me i don't have any feelings, was pretty much in the room all day.whatever
But then I think to myself..maybe this is all there really is, what if this was really it. What if all realtionships are this way, they are all good in the beggining, because you want to see the best in each other, but it bombsout in the end. WTF.
Maybe i have the cindreella syndrome. Maybe mr wonderful does not really exsist. That is so sad. that fucking sucks.
I know its not all wine and roses..but...
Maybe I will be the pathetic lady..with pugs..living all alone in the end.
For tonight I just quit...quit thinking, I want to but there is this big empty part of me that I just don't know if it will ever be filled.

So this leaves me to a list, because I am a list maker after all

1. I want it all
2. I f I am ever sick or in the hospital or whatever..damnit, I am at my most vulnerable. The strong in me realizes I am just human. I want someone to tell me it will be ok...and bring me soup..and help with the house.
3. Don't tell me what to do with my children if you are going to be a fly on the wall..you have not earned the right. When you are involved with my children, and you care, then you can offer your opinion.
4. Romance..god where has that gone???
6. Love. When shit hits the fan..well I am a woman, I need a pair of big strong arms to tell me it's gonna be ok damnit.\
7. finacially responsible,, I do want to have a real home one day. I need to be secure..I want to build something with you.
8. Dinner every now and then not cooked by me
9. Appreciation. I work damn hard, you might make more than me, but that does not make me less than you.
10. Never hit, never emotionally abuse, If you feel resentful because of the responsibility because of me, and my children, and the responsibility is too much, do me a favor, and just leave.

Shit, maybe this is too much for one guy to handle.

and bless the man that can.....and if you can't don't pretend that you can, Do the girl a favor.


Numbness and tingling.....

My daughter got out of the hospital about a month ago. She was in an accident and hurt her back. She had broke her back in three places and herniated a disk. Now after physical therapy , lotsof pain and numbness and tingling,and what not it looks as though she will be having a spinal fusion done.

I just had that done not to long ago, and it hurts like hell. It's not fair to have my daughter go through this. It's just not. Did I piss the gods off?

So my gut tells me this will happen sometime in December, it's going to be a very bad Christmas finacially. Very bad.However I did buy a scratch off ticket and won 2 dollars. Woohoo...I told you guys I would win the lotto.

My mom is leaving to go to M.O. to get married in July to her "boyfriend" that she just left my dad for 2 months ago. the whole thing is insane, but she does not care. There is the inner child in me feeling so totally abandoned. It's crazy. All these alien feelings, and well..mainly just pissed for hurting my father so much. I have not spoken to her, nor do I feel like Ican or want to. In my heart is this numb spot where I feel like shes..dead to me. I cna't help it, just the way I feel.

My brother is bailing to Japan, the lucky bastard...for three years, so by the time he gets back everyone will have gone through all there stuff, and things will be back to our dysfunctional norm. I would go with him, but I don't think the 2 bucks from the lotto will cover it. I wish I could run away too..

the good thing is, when I feel like this, I write ALOT. I started a new book today, one that came to me this morning.It's a bout a couple who have met each other many times over many lives. Have you ever felt like when you met someone for the first time(and I am not talking about the LOVE word here nessasarily..like freindship more like) that you have known them forever? I would hope that if there were such things, I would know my kids, and my brother over and over again...anyways, it gets my creative juices flowing. My own outlet out of the world of pain, into a written world that I can control. It's like the old books "Choose your own adventure". I Loved those books.You got several endings you could choose from for the characters in the books.

I think in real life we can choose only so much. Kayla would have never chose a fusion. I chose some bad relationships, but I did not know they were going to be bad at the time. Where is my fortune teller? My life is not like "Choose your own adventure" it is more like "Madlibs". not sure of what the outcome will be, but it might have to do with a green hopping cow. (Just google madlibs for godsake...you'll understand!)

Anyways, I am off to write something, and look at it later, and be my own worst enemy and hate it in the end. :)




The Alien Quest For Knowledge

Next year Kayla will be a senior, Nathan a sophomore, and Michael a freshman. …and well I have wanted to go back to school for years.

So I have an application on my desk. I finally gilled it out today after going through a zillion excuses in my head why this was a bad idea…

Then..I called for my transcripts…(college for 1 year in 2000) I surprised myself…I actually am moving forward in this. I want this.

Well, when those come in, I’m just gonna turn them in and see what happens.
I took an online quiz, I have to take an entrance exam. English was wonderful..math..algerbra…oh my god. Silly that I do a lot of bookkeeping in my job, and can’t remember how to do algebra.

I figure..one step at a time..as I panic..and sweat…and am in need of xanex, and a shot of anything!!

Then..If I do get accepted…I have to break it to emotionally incompetent man. He is a controller .He does not feel it necessary for me to go back to school, what he means by that is it will cramp his style. Oh my gosh, what if dinner is not made, and the laundry is not done to perfection…this is why my school is not “necessary”
So…I’m going to step out on a limb….slowly..and see what happens…without Mr. incompetent more than likely..and live for me for once.

Here goes step one….


What Heidi’s Aliens Think Of Re-incarnation?

So last night I am watching a show on Tibet, and it's most famous hidden text (later found thus the tv show duh..) “The Tibetan Book of the Dead”. It explains the process of death and rebirth. These are ancient stories, past down (and belived to prepare oneself for death, as the tv show honest to goodness said “Tibetans believed that death was imminent”

Hmmm..so..that means..we are ALL going to die?

Anyways, it was meant to prepare oneself..for death, and the Tibetans do not fear death as so many of us might. It speaks of seeing the “light” and walking into it. Then one experiences a sort of sensual temptation. Kewl.

99.9 percent of men would not pass the first level. ..this is just me talking here. Thus..be prepared, you’re in my only option in the Tibetian way is:

1. Hell or 2. Coming back to earth as an animal.

Now when I heard the animal part, I had to laugh. I looked at Cosmo and Winston snoring on my bed I thought, “Wow..what a hard life..They eat, sleep, shed, a lot, and right now they are both belly up wanting some loving and some good scratching”
Yeah, they must have been really bad formerly as humans…to live such a posh life.
Although I, my dad’s cat…is really Satan, seriously if anyone was a serial killer in this life, and came back as a cat, it is at my dad’s house. Come to think of it,maybe that is the fact for all cats….hmmmmm

Ok back to the program. If you pass the temptation then you go through some hallucinations, you meat death, and finally if you make it through all the “tests” along the way..well..you win.

You can come back as a god, or the ultimate gift is to come back to live as a human to learn suffering.

Now I don’t know about you, but suffering ain’t my thing. I kinda want to come back to something..with fluff and a bmw…screw suffering!

The ultimate gift is..you get to pick your own parents..but get this, it is a the moment of conception, so you actually get to pick your parents while they are doing the nasty.


Well, I hope at least the story made you smile.




Death Does Not Become Her

It has been so strange within the last few weeks. I have gotten in touch with some old friends, that I have not spoken with in over 19 years, and it really has stirred some emotions about myself. I had already dealt with my past many years ago..the feelings of failure blah blah blah…to realize that I am not, I am just human… and I am ok with how life turned out…really. I fell along the rocky paths a few times, got bloodied, but damn it, I got back up, brushed myself and moved on.

Here is something I thought of last night while I was walking the dogs that led me to the above. It was warm and a breezy night in Florida. I live near a lake, and the frogs were going nuts, the birds were chiming in, and you could even hear the alligators call out at the moon, as it was just starting to come out at the same time the sun was setting. It was red and orange glowing on top of the most glorious midnight blue I have ever seen. It was like a prehistoric jungle in my backyard, and it was beautiful..and I had forgotten that I had not taken a deep breath in a long time.......I need to do this more.

Then as pace settled in...me and my ADD self had to wander through thoughts...and I wandered to the past, since it has been on my mind so freggin much lately.

I was pregnant my entire senior year of high school...Having her…surprise…right in the middle of finals. She has always beat to her own drummer...(Thanks for making me go to SUMMER SCHOOL KAYLA..you could not wait two more classes??) This by far was one of the most difficult times of my life…peers staring and talking..and whispering…All eyes were always on me.It took me a long time not to feel like I was just a complete miserable nothing. I had no self esteem left..I look back, I wish I would have had alot more back bone and told everyone to go to hell.

But after I had her…after I held her..I kept saying I had a baby? I had a baby girl? With an excitement of awe not ever realizing that this little life truly was inside me all this time. The Nurse said” Yes Honey..you were pregnant” and handed her to me. I stared at her for hours, and It happened immediately..I became Mommy. I hardly ever let go of her, and would protect her life with my own in an instant. My teenage crazy days were over…and I grew up instantly, but that was just what needed to happen.

4 months after she was born I had the flu. I had a fever, I was sweating, throwing up, the whole 9 yards. I went to my parents so they could watch the baby. I did not want her getting sick, and took some asprin, and went to sleep in a back bedroom. A few hours later I had hives all over my arms and legs…then on my torso, my back, my neck….by 2 am I thought I was going to scrape my skin off with a knife , but I tend to like my skin so instead I went to the emergency room.

Within minutes, the familiar urge to throw up overwhelmed me. I asked my x to please ask the nurse to find th bathroom…quick!!! She came over to me and said “You look pale, can you stand up?” I said yes, and BOOM, hit the floor.

The next thing I know is a really hot male nurse (I mean smoking) is taking off my bra…someone’s taking off my shirt, people are sticking things on my chest..at 18 everone seeing me naked, Oh god let me die now!!!!I can barely open my eyes. Then I try to speak, and I can’t.(Ok maybe I did not mean let me die...)

I hear the distinct thub dub of my heart in my ears…but then it dawns on me, somewhere in this panicked state, that there should be more heartbeats….then I hear someone reading out my blood pressure and a female voice saying “Were losing her.” A scene straight out of ER.
I desperately want to speak, and cannot move my lips, I want to lift my am, or leg to say “I’m still here!!!” and can’t. I hear the voices around me…..then utter silence. More panic.If my heart could beat it would be going 200bpm..

Now the only way I can put this,is I felt like I was playing the game where you are standing, it is a trust game, and you have to fall backward into their arms….”wait a minute, I am going down, not floating up” and start praying in 30 seconds like I have never prayed before”Please forgive me of my sins blah blah blah” I know I am dying. More panic…”Why won’t my heart beat?.."Helloooo IM STILL HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!”I am literally scraming this in my head.

Then I have flashes of people and the last flash I see is my baby. “Oh god..I can’t leave her..not now, Oh god..please can’t go now”

Then I feel like I am falling forward, back into my own body…and peace..pure peace

4 hours later I am awakened with people asking “What is your name..what is your
name??” trying to see if I had brain function..because I quit breathing…

I had died.
After liooking in the mirror..I decided that this really is not my best look.

Apparently The Almighty Heidi’s Kryptonite is Aspirin…causing massive anaphaliptic shock..thus death.

My daughter will be 18 in just a few months…hard to believe that. She is a very strong woman, She stands up for herself, does not take any crap from guys, and study’s super hard, and has actually learned from my bumps along the road.

"Strong Women. May we know them, may we raise them, may we be them."

I made my own up. "Stupid men make strong (pissed off) women"...that works too...

I may not have become a doctor, I never finished my degree…but you know what..I cheated death… and was put here to be a mom to all three of my kids…well there will be no pity party.

So there.
Today..I am Almighty Heidi Again…as long as there is no aspirin involved.



Right About Midnight.......

It’s midnight…and she sleeps…………
And sleeps……
And forgot to set her alarm clock for work.

So after the bouts of Insomnia, I finally slept. It felt so good, I almost forgot to wake up….luckily my dogs were like “WTF” and about explode, so they woke me up, and even though they are small, they dragged me down and out of the condo in three seconds flat. They were even pawing at the elevator door trying to make the thing open faster.

So I am not sure what did it…maybe some peace..or peace of mind, which is a funny story.

Yesterday, because of the lack of sleep, I was in a bad dream of moving too slow and having to get somewhere fast. I had a meeting, can’t find the keys, and then…my dog throws up his medicine…gross…on my brand new feather down wonderfully soft comforter.


I have to go, so I am gone. Then about 30 minutes into my departure. There it is. Any phone call from Bruce (My emotionally impotent other half) before 11 am, is a bad call. “I can’t find my belt, or guess what your kids did…blah blah blah, I’m a big baby,” I have come not to answer those calls anymore. Here was this morning’s message that put me in a foul mood..

“Why didn’t you clean up the dogs mess before you left?”
Now this pissed me off. He knew I had a meeting, and HAD to go. He saw the mess the same time I did..yet somehow it became my mess to clean up even though it is “Our” dog.

Now, not to get into the whiney female he does she does of a relationship..but this is a constant and I am a bit tired.

I did get an email and it said “ I know you don’t think it or feel it, but I really do love you”
It’s midnight…not in the dark or the light, the somewhere in between, which is an awful place to be..it is very grey….the place where we are at..
so she chooses to sleep. It is too difficult to handle now..maybe later……

I wrote back “Sometimes love is taking the sheets off the bed” I think I like that saying in more ways than one;)
I did not get a response, nor were the sheets taken off the bed when I got home..dry puke left for me to clean up.
What an ass.

I think perhaps I am going to go to the vet and have him put down...
no not the dog.

"Excuse me Dr....I need to put him down,or he just needs to ffind a new home he is food agressive, mean, and I do not even know if he has all his shots. He snaps at the slightest thing..and wel..let's face it, he is lazy and overweight too...."

*Evil grin*

That made me laugh






58 percent of all adults have experience insomnia..some more than others like myself. There is nothing more aggravating than this constant tossing and turning. For the first time, I tried ambien, but I still wake up in the middle of the night. I do not want to take the new kind…the extended release..well..because..well

I talk in my sleep..I jabber…a lot. ..and have said things that have been..mean or inappropriate of sorts, and do not remember them..such as another man’s name…whom I do not even know, but maybe I wish I did?

I gave this genetic gift to my middle son who goes on and on in his sleep as well. So, if under no perception drugs in my system (or non) ..do I talk incessantly..I could only imagine what it would be like taking this medicine reading the side effects below:

“Sleepwalking, and eating or driving while not fully awake, with amnesia for the event, have been reported. “

I am like every woman am chronic dieting..I have no chocolate or goodies in my home whatsoever to sway any temptation.

I would be the one driving to the 24 hour grocery store buying some double fudge brownie ice cream, chocolate chip cookie dough, and whip cream and go at it..and not remember.

MMMMMMMM Double fudge brownie…….

What a bummer NOT to remember eating double fudge brownie ice cream. That is cruelty to one’s self…damn it if I am going to cheat I am going to remember it!!

So, through my dilemma of not sleeping I have tried new pillows, a new deliciously comfortable down blanket, I have kicked my pugs off the bed, only to hear Cosmo incessantly whine like he is in pain all night until I would put him back on the bed....

I have tried getting drunk…(not a good night in Heidi land, the bathroom floor is cold) then warm baths, warm milk, warm music, even an alarm clock that plays crickets, waterfalls and storms…it sounds like I am in the woods in the summertime, and want to bathe myself in OFF…..

So, until the stress lessens, and my brain can find a way to sync back with my body, I am just screwed..and I start blogging about “seeing all the pretty pink elephants floating by” or you see a lady in her pajama’s eating a gallon of ice-cream, shooting whip cream out of the can… with her eyes closed driving …it’s just lack of some good zzzzzzzzzzz’ssss.




Courage Under My Own Fire

Last night I could not sleep, and my mind was spinning, so I got up, and started writing. I hate writing deep soul insightful things..I would rather not. I try not to be mushy, or come off that way, but deep down..well...ater all..I am a woman.

It is strange as adult watching my parents go through a time of seperation, leading to ultimate divorce. It was my mother who left, and my father who s trying to pick up the shattered peices after 40 years of what is left. It is strange, being the daughter who listens and counsels the father...how backwards is that...but I would not trade it for the world because I love my father dearly and has always been there to help me pick my own peices up off the floor as well.

Going through relatinship break ups..serious ones, is so utterly painful. Your heart is a big open wound...and it just keeps bleeding. Let's face it. There is no bandaid to "Make it all better"

One of my favorite quotes is "To get to the end, you must go through first"

Going "through" sucks. Threough is :"What is wrong with me...what did I do wrong, blah blah blah beat yourself up crap that is there either to beat your self up, or make yourself stronger, when you start to realize..hey I did make some mistakes, but I deserve more than this"

I find myself talling him that there is a light at the end of the tunnel..starting over at 60..it will be ok, you can pick up the peices and make something beautiful out of your life that you never knew was there. I am the queen of "With weakness comes strength"

Then I realize as I talk to him, I am only really talking to myself as well...and this is why I cant sleep.

This morning I groggily woke up, shuffled to the kitchen to make my coffee, and wentback to bed...flicking through the channels..and the nerd in me started watching a show..on "How it's made"

It took Thomas Edison 1600 diffrent elements to find the one that would work, so we could have light. How exausting. I do not want to go through all the elements to find the person that makes me light up. Try fail try fail...maybe I am to independent....Then there is a sad image of me..growing old..and alone being the cat lady...but thankfully I am allergic to cats..so maybe I will be the old lady that talks to her plants..and knits...but I have killed all the plants I have ever owned...and I was the one that ran with scissors, fell, and stabbed myself when I was 8....hmmmm

Personally, I do not want it to take me 1600 trys to find the one element that will bring me light. Maybe the light..is somewhere within me, certainly you dont NEED another person to make you happy..

ok wow enough ramblings of mush. To combat this gooey blog, my next one will be all male bashing to make me feel all better...coming soon..




Life After Percocet...

Today it dawned on me…my new friend Terri wrote on her blog about this ol' blog, and my brother introduced me to facebook last night, where I listed Terri’s ,(hope you don't mind) and mine…and..I might have to actually start writing again. I know all my readers ( all three of them) have been wondering when I would come back....or have you?

Here is link to Terri's...it is inpirational, and her art is the most beautiful I have ever seen.

I started reading through my old entries and realized I needed to give you an update…and this will mark as my 101th blog…kewl….

My back surgery went wonderfully..they say third time is the charm. For the first time in three years due to this and the new drug Cymbalta (“because depression hurts”), I am pain free.

Let's just take a moment and CELEBRATE that.

I am not back to my old running days, but I am back up on the treadmill feeling liberated, and free..and back to the old new me…so I had to say goodbye to Mr. Percocet…ahhhhh it was fun while it lasted my friend.

Now as for the family...

Michael still has his nuts. (New readers are going WTF??..ok…it’s in the old blogs below)

Nathan is on medicine for the rest of his life…but unfortunately this medicine will never fixes his teenager attitude of Mr. Know it all, and I am too good for chores, and can I have 20 bucks even though I did nothing all day...I am thinking military school.Sometimes I think of moving to Nebraska and dropping him off at the local hospital. For those of you who haven't watched the news this is actually happingin in that state.It was meant for people who had babies and did not want them. instead of killing the child or doing something nuts they could drop them off at a hospital, no questions asked...but they forgot to set an age limit.
Yes, there is the evil mom in me smiling

"Well Nathan, we had some good years together, but you just don't listen any more, I hope you find a good family"


But realitly sets in, and I realize he is just as bullheaded as I am, and I do love him.

Kayla started her junior year off to a big bang in a boating accident and had broken three vertebrae’s, and herniated a disk….just when I got healed, she gets hurt….

Oh the life of a single mom is so fun.

She is ok, but hurting, and thank god can walk…I am praying she will heal instead of having to go through surgery. She is a strong and independent girl so I know she will do fine.

My parents are divorcing after 40 years, and my brother is moving to Japan….EVEN BETTER… I love life.

And just when life started to calm, just for one itty bitty second, the day I got Kayla out of the hospital after being there for several days….
My new (old adopted) dog Cosmo had surgery, which cost 1500.00, and for about 3 days peed on my brand new carpet…niceeeeeeeeeeeeee.

So what is a mom to do? Well as my friend Terri said “We must respect the struggle”

So in reply to that, I had one night without Mr. Emotionally Impotent (That’s my new name for formerly known as Mr.Insignificant….My going nowhere relationship), the kids or the dogs…
And Honored myself, and had a toast to my struggle…and a few more with my favorite man…
He starts with a “C”..

Captain Morgan of course, and that night SURPRISE he brought his lady friend “Tequila”gift from my friend Mary..and she had a toast too…then I honored myself a bit too much…
I found out that these Mr. Captain Morgans and Ms. Tequila don’t like each other that much the next day as my head throbbed, and my body begged for starbucks and something really really greasy…

Ok, Maybe that was not exactly honoring myself but, it was fun while it lasted and I suppose every few years a night like this comes along….and I did get a pedicure so that counts right???

Oh..and PS..If my brother is reading this..THE ELECTION IS OVER..SHUT UP ALREADY. Yes, I KNOW OBAMA WON....

More from the Almighty Heidi later….


Tha Almighty Heidi