Tagged and did not realize it

This is the first time I had been tagged...and I did not know untill today. http://thefoamingmoan.blogspot.com/ had tagged me quite awhile ago. I caught up on some reading, and thee it was.

This is where I talk about me. I had written a BIG GIGntic thing about me, and somehow in my drug induced state, pushed something, and bam, it was gone. GRRRRR.

So here is a shorter version, because I just wasted a half hour on NOTHING!!!

1. I have one foot larger than the other, that you can't see, unless I take my shoes off when I'm really really drunk and show everyone. Let's just thank god, that (except 2 other unmentionable occasions) it is just my feet I am showing. I wold like to apologize now to my kmom if you are reading this.

2. I love to drink a good wine with dinner, and have an affair with captain morgan every other weekend when my kids are gone:)

3. I am 5'9, have cat like green eyes and have deep dark brown hair, most people say it is black.
I am shallow in the ways where I like to look nice, and will rarely be seen in public without at least lip gloss. But I am noot a hiar flipper, look at me girl. I hate those.

4. I am somewhat of a nerd due to my fathers love of science fiction: star treck, buck rogers and the 21st century, battle star gallactica, and all teachable things on tv like national geographic, and such. My brothers plans after the airforce are to come here to florida and work for nasa. I want to finish my nursing degree and go into research, but....that is a dream, I have three children who are a priority.

5. My mother was and still is an eccentric artist, who is highly talented, and one of those who will be famous after she is dead. (that ois the way things work in the artsist world). However, she cannot die soon ans she is my superhero, sticking with my father for 35 years and beating cancer, and wroking through congestive heart failure.

6. Damn this is still long. I love to read. There how is that.

7. I would like to get a dog. I think I would have more companionship than the relationship I am in now.

8. I have been married twice, and do not think I will ever marry again. I picked an alcoholic, and then a drug addict (who were clean at the time of marrige) I saw something good in them, but addictions alwasy come back. I am just not good with relationships, and men see my independance, as a way to hurt their ego's. I just don't get it.

9. I hate my car, and need to pay off 5000.00 before I can trade it in.

10. I have three children that are complete opposites: Kayla is a true blone who walks into walls, and has a phone growing on her ear. Nathan is a ports guy, and is completly muscular at 13, a complete stud, and girls call him...constantly. Michael is a comedian/genius. He will be going to MIT., as he is a nerd. We are all so diffent it is hard to find the happy medium to keep the peace some days.

Thas it...me in a nutshell.

The Alien brain invaded Almoighty heidi.

P.S: x-dell, gary, rainy pete, happy and blue 2,any useless man, luxluvista you are all now hereby tagged.


Tips and Trips From The Alien Brain

I have a few more weeks left on the painkillers. But I thought I would share my fun trips with you.

Songs that go through my head, and..that I sing outloud...loud like the American idol I am. My insignifigant other finds pleasure in this part of the morning, and the kids know if they ask me for 20 bucks, they will get it no questions asked, along with a big I LOOOOVEEE YOU.

10 minutes after first dose (usually sung in the shower): Prince: Purple rain purple rain
15 Minutes: Dont ask me about this one: I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok, I sleep all night and I work all day....
25 minutes: I..I will survive...along with the best bootie dane I can muster up, with my hairdryer as my microphone.
45minutes: About this time it's ready for work and the meds have mellowed out and the 'high' is gone: IIIIIIIII fallllll to pieces....(Patsy Cline)

During this time it is best to put on slip on shoes for work. Shoes that must be tied are like a drunk trying to walk a straight line. Make up should not be applied untill an hour after the dose, or you may end up looking like a hoar that slept on the left side of her face all night with the make up still on and smeared all over. During this time, it would be to your insignifigant others opportunity to take this time to take advantage of the inhibitions, if you know what i'm saying.

Never ever go shopping with your credit card, after taking your perscriptions drugs. 'drunk shopping' is fun, but you will max out your card very quickly. Big no no. I happened to get my tonails done, tanned, and bought a new outfit, and called it therapy. Therapy cost me 200.00 not covered by my insurance plan.

I love everyone for 45 minutes 4 times a day...(med times)

It is wise to wait till this moment passes before you go into the presidents office and tell him "ya know, I really love you, thanks for everything', while giving him a big hug in your low cut shirt you picked out in the morning purple rain state....with other co-workers standing around. (I really meant to say I appreciated everything he had done for me while I missed 4 weeks of work, but I think we have evolved to a new uncomfortable level.



My first day, on the planet known as physical therapy

Yesterday was my first day at Physical therapy. I am psyched. I walk in with my gym gear and my Nike's. In my mind I am ready for a marathon. I look around and feel very comforted, it is a small rehab place, with a lay out much like a gym, except there are no intimidating gym people around. It really is it's own quite little world. I like it.

I meet my therapist who has also had back surgery , and she is back to running now. Great inspiration. We go through a series of tests to see where I am at and she gives me a few little teenie weenie crunches to do, a few tiny pelvic lifting type exercises. In my mind 'I am yelling, is that all you got????'

The scary thing is on her planet, they have very good psychic abilities, and she says to me that we need to start small to get big. She encourages me that I will be back on the treadmill soon.

I wait outside for the insignificant other to pick me up, and it starts to hit. All the little tiny exercises send muscle spasms to my back, my butt, my hips, and I want to cry.

Suddenly, the marathon runner in my brain goes to despair, anger, and frustration. The next day I am unable to move, and feel like a complete loser, and I didn't even get to use any cool gym equipment. So I pop some pain pills, feel the need to listen to pink Floyd, and fall into my percocet haze where everything is alright...for about 45 minutes until it wears off.

I, the great Almighty Heidi, will pull through, but will be pissed off the whole way though since I have no patience...and I am just pissed off at this whole thing, instead of accepting it, and allowing myself to go 'through it'"

Ok, just had to vent for the day.

The Almighty Heidi, who will soon regain her powers and cynical attitude towards men again...Soon.

( I don't think I have done my regular dose of male bashing recently, I will have to do that soon, as I have much new material)


The Aliens In MY Brain do not like recovery

The things I have learned from recovery from surgery:

1: When you have children the only 'recovery' time is when they are at school.

2. Just because the house is a mess does not mean that anyone other than you will take the initive to clean it up.

3. Children love recovery because mommy is to drugged up, or hurt to come after them, or make them do anything of benificial use, thus taking advantage of the refigorator, x-box, tv and computer, anything but the vaccum.

4. I belive in giving up children for temporary, or maybe even non temporary adoption at such times, and would likke a consultation with a lawyer.

5. Soma is the best muscle relaxant on the market, and so not ever want to go off of it. I am a self proclaimed addict for the next six weeks, then I have to fo through a diffrent recovery...getting off all the drugs. Bummer.

6. When you have to much time on your hands you will get depressed so it is important to keep your mind busy with something...like blogging.

7. 80 percent of suregons/doctors are dickheads.

8. I think as a woman we are much harder on ourselves, and don't give ourselves the 'ok' to lay on the couch or in bed for the majority of the day after surgery. We feel guilty for doing nothing, then you ponder it all day, thus #6.

9. Pain sucks. I have a tremendous amount of respect for people with debilitating painful conditions on a daily basis. If I were in pain like this for the rest of my life, I think I would jump off the nearest bridge. I really do have a newfound respect.

10. Being a very independent person, it is ard to go back to the most basics of needs...ummm..I want my mommy. :)

11. Isnurances should cover sending you away to a spa at such times, on a tropical island, with all your medications being served with a tropical drink with an umbrella. This of course being served up by your own personal man slave, who will fetch a pillow, food, and offer up massages at any given time needed.

The not so Almighty Heidi at this moment:)


Stepped on a crack that broke your mothers back???

Forgive me bloggers for I have sinned, it has been over a month since my last entry.

Let me explai. I have had 2 bad disks in my back. In April, after a few months of bliss from a spinal block, the pain started creeping up again. Then one day after going to pick up my sons bike out of the yard, I bent over....and was writhed with a pain that has no words.

Emergency rooms now a days don't care. Twice I had been in, and they give you a few shots in the ass, some pills and send you home without even an MRI.

It turns out while waiting to get enough money up to get an MRI done to meet my insane deductible, I had totally de-sected the disk..it was no longer in between the two bones, ut in the spinal canal, thus the immense pain that everyone thought I was a wus about. My Dr after the surgery said this was the worse disk he had ever seen. They even named it.

The next day my Dr, saw the MRI, shook his head, and sent me for emergency surgery, from which I am now recovering. Two days later my father goes into the hospital where he is the helicoptered over to another hospital for his own emergency surgery. This was suckie for me, because on the selfish side, my mom was to come over for a week and help me fucntion, and I was left all by myself to fend, with what little help I got from the kids. Then I was an emotional messs from all the drugs in the hopital, and finally crashed full force into a black hole when my dad went in to the hospital.

Ever been in a black hole? I am not the depressive type, but everyone has to go there sooner or later in their lives...and I went there.

But, I am back now. I am officially a percocet, and soma junkie, at least for the next six weeks. Recovery is a bitch and I just don't have the patience for it. MY work has been cool, but there is only so long they are going to be that way. At home there is no such thing as 'Recovery"Kids expect you to go back to super mom hood, and the insignifigant other has not lifted a finger to help, other to offer his advise, on how I should be doing things, or how I should be oarenting,and how my life wold be so much better. Shut the hell up, and just get be a fucking pillow.-

Other than that...it's all good:)