It Just Is

Hello fellow bloggers. Just a note to say the Almighty Heidi Lives. I look back on my blog from 2010 a dream I had for that new year..it had a lion in it that symbolized courage. I had no idea how much I would need that courage for following year..and year after that.

This past week I left my job, my security in these hard economic times. It was a leap of faith that had to be done. I had ate my humble pie for 2 years. I had to go back to waiting on tables and bartending to feed my family.

But my soul ached everyday to get out.
There was so much negative,
I could no longer see the positive around me any longer.
I longed to breathe.
I might have to eat some more humble pie
but at a new job it might just taste better.

Did I tell you I am going back to school full time with a heafty loan that I might not ever repay, but a 4.0 gpa?

I knew when it turned 2012 I would have a new job by my birthday.

Tommorrow is my birthday.

So this year, my year...
I choose not to live in darkenss of fear
but in the light of the unknown

I will always hunger for more
it is who I am
even though I still dont know who I am meant to be yet
but I know feel the drive twoards a purpose
every single day

Though I am sensitive, fragile of heart, and hurt easily
in reality I am tough, determined, and strong

I think I can,
and I have
or damn it
I will.

When my soul screams ENOUGH
then it is time
to move in another direction
because she has never steared me wrong

There is no failure
just a lesson
a stupid lesson that somehow
you needed to be reminded
of your own humanity
and to be sensitive to others
because they are only human too

get back up and keep moving
ther longer you stay down
the longer it takes to get back up

Dont be afraid of the dark
there are no monsters in the closet
that you have not already faced
Just turn on the damn light of your own soul

and know looking back
you will say
"I would not have changed a thing"
because it just is meant to be
It just is

Almighty Heidi