Well...I am not the only one going through junk. Some are going through much more...much much more.
My father for instance. My mom left him for another man, after 40 years of marriage. Just up and left. Then just as he is starting to get the peices of his life together, just a bit..his home gets broken into yesterday and they took everything, computer, i touch, stero stuff, everything down to his wedding ring he had tucked away.
After the police left...we started picking up the cushions to the couch, putting all the drawers back in, putting matresses back in place...even though I don't live there, I felt violated for him. How dare anyone come and rummage through his stuff.....step into his world without permission.
He just looked...defeated.
I had two shots of whisky and a ciggarette.
Finally we were in the kitchen straightening up and I put my arms around him.
Dad: "Did I piss god off"
"No dad...listen to me, you did nothing wrong..you stood by mom when none of the rest of us could, and continue to love her when the rest of us cant. I don't know why this is happening to you, and of all times now..I don't know why, you don't deserve ANY of this you hear me??!!"
Then the phone rang. It was my mom...she asked if there was anything she could do. She lives with her new man 3 thousand miles away after stripping most of the house first a month ago, before the robbers.
"ANYTHING YOU CAN DO>>>ANYTHING YOU CAN DO??!!!! DONT YOU THINK YOU HAVE DONE ENOUGH!!!!!!"
And at that point..my months of silence with my mother broke...
I said a few more choice words..my dad's face got red, and he smiled...Words I know he so badly did not want to say, but he still loves her...so he can't.
Then I got off the phone *Whew* " I feel much better" and we had a laugh.
The heaviness in the air lifted for a bit, we were finding serial numbers and making lists to turn into the police.., and I left to go home...
wishing I could have done more.