Simple Minds......

I am having a hard day. This morning, talking with my dad, he is still heartbroken over my mom, and tearful. It hurts me to watch.

I learned I have to sign Kayla up for homeschool, due to her absences…It is ok, but tough for her. She just wants to get better..and I can’t make it all better. This is beyond the Almighty Heidi’s super powers, and it hurts.

Finally a big hurt over something stupid…I will tell you the story. B and I SEVERAL months ago had a thing where we had to go to a conference for his work. That evening he invited all his buddies to come play poker. One of the buddies left his nice sport jacket in our room. I kept it, cleaned it, and accidentally had it in our closet this whole time. I found it the other day going through my clothes trying to find something other than black to wear (it is my mood).

I told king B about it in conversation. At first the conversation was accusing… like I had DONE something with his friend. Yeah whatever buddy.

Yesterday he asked where the Jacket was. I said I would go and get it, but forgot as I was rushing for work.

This morning I saw it,I grabbed it, and laid it on the bed. “Here’s kevins jacket you asked about yesterday”

B: “Why are you laying it on the bed, what am I supposed to do with that?” In a very rude tone that took me off guard.

So I quietly took the jacket and hung it back up and left for work...Miffed.. trying to process what just happened.

Later when he called about something I just had to go there.

“You were really a dick about the jacket this morning; I was just trying to help”

B: “Well that is just your simple minded way of looking at things”


Then he said he was sorry. Wow.

As trying to explain the situation, he said..forget the apology, I take it back..and hung up.


Surly somehow I pissed him off and I will pay for it all week somehow or another. In my mind I started a bonfire, and thre the jacket in it...

Today can end. This year can end.I want to go to bed, crawl under my covers, and sleep until tomorrow.
I hate to take everything so personally,over a stupin fucking jacket.... and feel hurt..but am am..just one big tearful ball of hurt....damn Ihate days like this. I don't wanna feel hurt..so Almighty Heidi has to put up her super sheild..and hopes everything bounces off. I can't beleive I let it down. Then I have to put on the invisable cloak..walk around invisible, as if I don't matter:(..so as not to start shit...just a bit longer..just awhile longer.

Tryin to download my emergency back up superpowers...


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