7/14/2009

Ache





Tell me how to get back up from this place,

how to rise out of my own pain within pain,

ache within ache,

sadness and hurt pours out of every pore trying to escape my heart,
but with every beat it feels more.


DoI let it go and never return to it because it hurts me so badly

do I continue to do the same thing over and over again looking for something that just does not exist in my world,
to fall back down.

I can't seem to rise this time...

Back down into this place, This dark dark place,

How do I rise up from my pain within pain, the ache within ache…. sadness beating out of every pore of my soul.


Tell me... tell me how.




Heidi

11 comments:

Cat said...

Heidi this is so heavy, it must weigh you down. Can you put it down long enough to stand and then walk until you are strng to be able to pick it up and carry it again. Maybe you can sort it out one day, but for today just breathe and be. if you can do this, then the rest will follow.

I really apprecaite that we always get another chance at today - tomorrow.

(hugs)

LarryG said...

this is poignant and personal, yet extreme loss happens and i have experienced some of these feelings and they are well stated -
hugs may help...
ooooo

terri said...

i don't want to intrude. and yet i don't want to just read this and move on.

once, only one time in my life,
i sat in a room and watched pain beyond anything i had ever imagined and i thought 'this is what hell is.'
i just knew that darkness, that pain, that blackness had to be hell. had to be the worst there was.

and how could anyone find any good in it at all?

it was months and months later that i found it. i realized that in that darkness, there were people reaching out to each other
and where there seemed like nothing but blackness, there were
little tiny spots of light.

little tiny spots coming from fingers that couldn't do any more than reach out in the darkness.....

and that as long as that's there...
there's light.

so i was kinda hoping that when you looked up and tried to breathe deep and you looked this way....you'd see some tiny little spots of light. and you'd see these fingertips of mine and all your friends.....reachin' your way...

MilesPerHour said...

Faith.

foam said...

oh sweetie ..
i've been there ..
what you've been through these past months, nay, years perhaps, has been really tough ...
it's okay to embrace the sadness at times ..
and then when you are ready you will rise out of it ..

AlpHa Buttonpusher said...

Live :)

Shadow said...

i think cat has the perfect bit of advise for you here... wishing you strength!

Rolf said...

I want you to write and write. You are good at it, and it helps.



Hugs

AlmightyHeidi said...

Ohh to all my wonderful peeps..What an awful hell..Terri you said it right. Thank you all for letting my words weep onto the page..and handing me tissues in kindness.

Marty said...

You are in my thoughts...

FrankandMary said...

Maybe with a little help from your friends.... Try to be kind to yourself. ~Mary