6/28/2005

Martians

"There comes that mysterious meeting in life when someone acknowledges who we are and what we can be, igniting the circuits of our highest potential."

-Rusty Berkus

Today, I am pissed. In my office it is a golden rule that the reps go to lunch with the higher ups and bring back food for the ones lower on the chain. For the second time they have forgotten the lower downs that bust their ass for the company. Also today I finally get a filing cabinet that I have had to beg for, only because they happened to find one in the warehouse. The last few months I have brought in money that they otherwise would have not had. So instead of asking for appreciation I will ask for a raise.

I did looked up the meaning of "raise" to ponder how I would go about getting one, and make my points worthy and acceptable of the ever so deserving salary increase. Here is what I found.

Raise: (Verb): Comes from old English meaning more at rear. I think this is just about where I seem to be.


1. To cause or help to a standing position. I could try helping one of my co workers out of their chair, offering them a hand up...but they may look at me funny, but for a raise? ok.

2. Awaken, arouse or stir up. Ummm No. I am one of only 2 females in my work place, and arousing the males around here would be just plain gross. Although I would think considerably how much of a raise I would want. (I think I just threw up in my mouth)

3.To set upright by lifting or building, to place to a higher level of dignity
to get together for a purpose. I did build mighty impressive paperclip tower last week. Really.

4.Grow or cultivate . This one was easy. I do have a nasty habit of forgetting to wash out coffe cups, and leave them in my cubicle, untill one day I grap one and find a thick fuzzy layer of mold and fungus on top. This is a gift.

5. To give rise to; provoke. I am hoping that the "give rise to" doesn't apply to #2.

6. to bring up for consideration style. Duh, that's what I am trying to do here.

7. Increase in strength, intensity or pitch. I have invented my own cubicle areobics. My whining for office supplies has grown into a higher pitched annoying nagging sound.

8.to make light and porous. Umm I dunno about this one., but I do have pores if that counts.

9. to cause to ascend. I have an excel spreadsheet that does this for me.

10.to multiply itself a number of times. All women know how to do this.

11. to bring in sight by approaching. Yes, the cubicle does come into sight upon approaching from all angles.

12.to cause (as a blister) to form on the skin. I am not sure about blisters, but I have had monster paper cuts form on the skin. This should count.

13. to increase the nominal value of fraudulently. This would be an example of the VP of the company. He knows all sorts of stuff about fraud.

14. to articulate a sound with the tonge in a higher position. Ok, here goes my articulating I....WANT....A.....RAISE

Latte'

Heidi

1 comment:

Gone Away said...

Raise: what I wish I could have done to my boobs. Sigh...

Love,

Mom