3/11/2006

Almighty Heidi's Hangover Remedies

It is a week and a half after my birthday. It has taken me awhile to get over that night. I am finding the OLDER you get, the harder it is to function the next day...or the next...or even the next..In my quest for the best hangover remedies, I have found many superb quotations, two of which were from one of our founding fathers.

There can't be good living where there is not good drinking.
-- Benjamin Franklin


Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy- Benjamin Franklin

Now this makes sense, who else in there right mind is going to tie metal to a kite during a lightning storm to see what happens. He had to be drunk of his ass. They don't mention that part in the history books!!

Here are some more fun quotes:

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk they're sober.
--William Butler Yeates


You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
-- Dean Martin :
Ummm yeah, I had that would spinny thing going on, that sucked.

I often sit back and think, "I wish I had done that," and find out later that I already have.
-- Richard Harris:
Yup..I did that tooo

I
drink to make other people interesting.
-- George Jean Nathan : HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!



The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far away, but I will walk carefully.
-- old Russian proverb
This sounds like something my grandfather would say


Ok now that we've had a history lesson, and also we know many famous people love to indulge in the drink as well, I feel as though my drunken stupor during my Birthday was just like a righ of passage, and it is ok to see the ceiling spin while laying on the floor.

The next morning I absolutely had to go to work...that hurt. I remember the night before ordering a sub, and I taked to the sub. I told it to "be kind to me", because "I will throw you up later" leading me to realize, yes, in that moment I knew exactly what I was doing, so there must have been some sanity in the 7 shots of goldschlager.


I got up, had very strong coffee, and went to work wanting to die. The sun hurt, noise hurt, i just wanted to put on some sweat pants and a tee shirt, and climb into the womb of the warm bed I left behind. Not to metion my new friend the ceramic bowl.

This I proved later that day, that I mmust have a game plan for next year....or whatever holiday comes up first, for a hangover remedy. This is what I found on the internet.



- 6 raw almonds before bedtime: So says the Americann Indians. From what I hear they have quite the drinking problem. I can eat almonds just so long as they are chocolate covered.

- Take two teaspoons of primrose oil: NOT. this will bring on the process of puking I would assume.

- African remedy: Peanut butter: I could not imagine throwing this up. Eww.

- Prickly pear cactus extract: Oh yeah, I keep a bottle of this around.

- Bloody Mary: This did surprise me. When you are drinking alot you arpoisoning your body. There is a chemical in alcohol called Congeners, say it with me people: Congeners. Good now lets continue.
These so called Congeners (Along with dehydration) are toxic chemicals made in fermentation. When there are too many in your body, it makes ya real sick.

After a night of binge drinking it is iportant NOT to take ibuprofen or ESPECIALLY ACETAMETAPHIN,because this mixed with the congeners, can cause liver damage. say it again with me so you don'tt die:


I will not take anything for my hangover headache in the form of pain relievers, because it can cause LIVER DAMAGE, and I will have a miserable death because therearen't enough organ donors, and I don't need some poor healthy kids liver that dies in a car accident because I drank too much.

Ok back to the bloody Mary. The saying that you should drink the next morning never sat well with me, but apparently it is true for a scientific reason. Apparently alcohol is adepressantt right?? We have all seen "that guy", you know who he is there is one in every bar, crying and telling everyone that "I love you man..no no I really love you man"
This may or may not be the effects of the depressant...I just think it's the feminine side of that man coming out of the closet. Having a drink helps to ease the symptoms of coming off of the depressant, and a bloody mary contains lots of vitamins you body is screaming for. This is only said to be a temporary effect.

However there are no cures for wakig up the next morning and remembering all the things you said drunk. That one you have to face on your own, as I had to do myself. I thought to myself, well, at least I had a great tim
e,


then the flashbacks came, then another, and yet another, and I was cringing saying to myself, oh god..oh no..I did not do that...


On that note, evryone have a happy and safe weekend!!

Heidi




6 comments:

schaumi said...

okay,
although i am in my 40-50 years i still pretend a few times a year that i am 21....

i've learned to stay hydrated. drink lots of water along with whatever booze you may be imbibing.

and i swear by bloody maries. as a matter of fact i travel with the ingredients if i am spending the night someplace.

and thanks for reminding me of the tylenol/ibuprofen nono. i have a fete coming up soon and will be traveling with those bloody mary ingredients :)

AlmightyHeidi said...

Toothbrush, undderwear, socks, shampoo, bloody mary mix...ha!!!

schaumi said...

Yeah boy,err, gal,
you better believe it ;)

Gary said...

I have only one one complaint about this post. You never told us all the THINGS YOU SAID when you were drunk. :)

Rainypete said...

"there are no cures for wakig up the next morning and remembering all the things you said drunk"

Sure there are, but it isn't cheap. move to a place far away where nobody knows you.

AlmightyHeidi said...

G- Get me drunk and I will tell you. Ha!!