The Aliens In MY Brain do not like recovery

The things I have learned from recovery from surgery:

1: When you have children the only 'recovery' time is when they are at school.

2. Just because the house is a mess does not mean that anyone other than you will take the initive to clean it up.

3. Children love recovery because mommy is to drugged up, or hurt to come after them, or make them do anything of benificial use, thus taking advantage of the refigorator, x-box, tv and computer, anything but the vaccum.

4. I belive in giving up children for temporary, or maybe even non temporary adoption at such times, and would likke a consultation with a lawyer.

5. Soma is the best muscle relaxant on the market, and so not ever want to go off of it. I am a self proclaimed addict for the next six weeks, then I have to fo through a diffrent recovery...getting off all the drugs. Bummer.

6. When you have to much time on your hands you will get depressed so it is important to keep your mind busy with something...like blogging.

7. 80 percent of suregons/doctors are dickheads.

8. I think as a woman we are much harder on ourselves, and don't give ourselves the 'ok' to lay on the couch or in bed for the majority of the day after surgery. We feel guilty for doing nothing, then you ponder it all day, thus #6.

9. Pain sucks. I have a tremendous amount of respect for people with debilitating painful conditions on a daily basis. If I were in pain like this for the rest of my life, I think I would jump off the nearest bridge. I really do have a newfound respect.

10. Being a very independent person, it is ard to go back to the most basics of needs...ummm..I want my mommy. :)

11. Isnurances should cover sending you away to a spa at such times, on a tropical island, with all your medications being served with a tropical drink with an umbrella. This of course being served up by your own personal man slave, who will fetch a pillow, food, and offer up massages at any given time needed.

The not so Almighty Heidi at this moment:)


X. Dell said...

(1) Well, your sense of humor is up and running. That might shorten your recovery time.

(2) You can always rent a bulldozer to shovel out the house AFTER you're back to 100%.

(3) While you're on the drugs, enjoy them (if you can). And if you become addicted to pain killers, and find yourself purchasing them in parking lots via your maid, you might have a lucritive future as a righ-wing radio show host.

(4) Too bad you need a lawyer for everything, these days. I can remember when you could just leave your children in a basket on somebody's doorstep.

(5) You write that 80% of doctors are dickheads. This is an exaggeration. Everyone knows that 90% of doctors are dickheads.

(6) Concerning item #11: considering what Americans pay for health care, you probably should get considerably more than what you mention here.

(7) Get well soon.

schaumi said...

ooooh, goody! I can't wait for the postings of a self proclaimed 6 week addict....

Do take care of yourself and like x. dell said, you can always get a bulldozer to shovel out the house. I sure it would even shovel out messy children and lazy "better halfs" if you needed it to.

luvneeyore said...

Glad you are feeling good enough to post ... I agree with you 100% ... I had colon resection 4 weeks ago and it was all I could do to have the boys clean up ... Here's hoping the drugs are good for you and that you don't have to become a contortionist to "break the habit:!!

AlmightyHeidi said...

Thanks to all my beloved followers of the blog world:)

x-dell you are tooo funny!!

schaumi said...


AlmightyHeidi said...


Rainypete said...

The drugs should make for some intriguing posts later on. We'll have to wait and see!

MaQuade said...

Hi, I'm here with a pillow, a snack, and some vanilla scented massage oil..?