The Almighty Heidi Goes On Vacation

I have been away on vacation to the beach for ten days. I already notice the diffrence in my temprament, and how badly I must have needed this time.
My children are, or beoming teenagers, and my daughter will be 18 in 2 years. I realized that I have not taken them on a trip since they were little and we needed to develop some bonding experiences for them to remember for a lifetime.

Day 1: Got there late, kids bickered about who was going to get the front seat, mom he's on my side of the car.... how much longer, I have to pee...shut up...oh my god......ate went to bed.

Day 2: Woke up early went to the beach around 10 after a mighty big breakfast. My daughters breasts were exposed on a public beach after getting off her boogie board to find her top hanging by a thread. Kids went home tired, bickered about who gets control of the tv, who gets to shower first, mom he hit me...oh my god!!!!

Day 3: Woke up a bt later, got to the beach by two, another day of fun in the sun. Went out for lunch with sand in our shorts, (a bit miserable), showered, bickered over if we were going to see Pirates of the carrbian, spiderman three some horror flick or lovestorey, MOM he's on my side of the car...OH MY GOD

Day 4: After realzing that there were 6 days of vacation left, mom makes it a point to have an adult night out...and gets slammered. The Almighty Heidi thinks that she has had only 2 captain morgans and 2 shots, when in reality, it was 2 captain morgans double tall, the shot was for someones birthday and it was a three gulp shot, thus having to be at least three shots, and the last shooter was enormus as well. Maybe for a grand total of 9 drinks. Almighty Heidi trips over the children who fell asleep on the condo floor, and races to the bathroom over, and over, and over....and over again...all night long. P.S. Happy Birthday Bruce.

Day 5: Not a good day...just not a good day.

Day 6: Recovered fully, kids are rearing to go, we fish, swim, eat, sleep. I get the front seat, No you don't stupid, you got it last time!" OH MY GOD WHO WANTS TO PACK!!! My 14 year old comes out of the shower and loses his towel, and OH MY GOD, I do not know how he got...so...big. I am blinded for life. Once by my daughter and now by my son. Scarred. My youngest son is jealous and asks when will he hit puberty.

Day7: One more adult evening plan since the birthday did not go so well. ZERO drinking involved this time. Went on a boat....it had 7 foot seas that night, the crew, and passangers were all sick, not a bathroom in site not being used...disgusting.

Day 8: We blow 50 dollars at an arcade, 50 dollars on bad tourist food, and I am ready to go. No none of you can sit in the front seat, the remote control is mine, and no you can't have ice-cream. If you do drown in the ocean...there is a possibility, I may forget to tell the lifeguard!!!

Day 9: After many fond memories, Almighty Heidi packs her, and her almighty children up, and go home a day early. All in all a good bonding memorable experience for us all.

Ahhhh vacaton.


foam said...

ummmmm, can i go on your next vacation with you?
i'm going to the beach in a month with bro-inlaw relatives who believe quiet time starts at 7:00pm. we'll be 5 people in the car on our 5 hour drive down to the beach. spouse, moi, a 10 year old, almost a 6' almost 16 year old, a 83 year old woman going batty. and no, we don't have a minivan../
i'm already starting to hyperventilate.
good thing my kids actually love visiting with their cousins.
i just walk for miles, and miles, and miles and miles snd miles.......

ps: i've practically lost bikini tops as a teen at the beach from body surfing. practically lost the panties too.
c'mon, heidi, don't tell me it's never happend to you...

AlmightyHeidi said...

I've lost my top before...but I wasn't at the beach....:)

X. Dell said...

Oh, i can barely remember the "She's touching me" car rides on family vacations.

Did your kids make a racket on day five, just to let you know that they're old enough to understand a hangover?