Today comes the pay cuts...we will find out how much...it's left me restless all week, we were supposed to know on Monday..so It's like I have had a splinter all week in my finger, that I cant get rid of.
So many changes at one time, it is hard for my soul to function.
I am moving, yes, out of a 7 year relationship.
My daughter was in an accident an injured her back, and we had to pull her out of school. Now Im trying to get her GED, but she will be having Jaw surgery in June and will be in the hospital a week..after that week Im going back to work, and hope she will be fine while I am gone.
Im dealing with my father, after my mom has left him, and his home was robbed.
My sons are struggling with school...bad.
I miss my brother who moved to Japan, and my neice and sister in law.
Im worried about if Im gonna have enough people to help me move...I cant lift anything because of my back surgeries..and feel helpless. I wish I had money for movers.
Then just after I move, it's time for my kids to go back to school in August...I have to afford school supplies..
Im worried about Bruce..and the shit hitting the fan...he can get real ugly. My job is cutting my hours,
I am looking for a second job...i'm trying to lose weight, my world is just spinning...the bad spin..like you have drank too much wine, and the bed is spinning and you cant make it stop... untill you throw up.
I need to throw up. I need a good cry...spin spin spin spin spin....
Some people say "Embrace the change", but that phrase makes me wanna puke too... and I know I will look back and see it is all for the greater good,
I will...that is how I am wired.
But being in the middle of it...if I hear embrace the change, I will tell you to shut the hell up..im not ready yet.
So I am putting it aside....
and going to the beach tommorrow...
Im gonna have a glass of wine..or two..
Have a ciggarette..before I quit, and add it to my list of insanity...
and maybe Sunday...I'll do it all over again.
See you all Monday..have a wonderful weekend.