Stop Holding My Breath

We all have things we can blame our parents for, how we were raised, blah blah blah, but ultimatly as adults there has to be a turning point of not treating yourself in the same way, or doing the same to others.

My mom is very codependent.

I learned how to be codependant from her.

And now I say enough.

Enough making excuses

I remember swimming in a lake when I was small. My brother and I would have contests to see who could hold their breath the longest..I wanted to win so bad. I stayed under till i thought my lungs would burst. Finally after a long day of swimming we came out ....and I had this green seaweed algae all over me, it was so slimy and disgusting.

That is what codependancy is..a green oozing slime that wants to feed off you and stick on you, some form of symbiosis that is not natural and does not belong, and it sickens me...it honestly SICKENS me.

In the past year I have learned how to let people go..close people go..family go even...and I feel normal for once? I knew I had to let go of those who were making me spiritualy and mentally sick. Before I would have felt guilty or bad for hurting felings. Well..I did, but only for a moment, now I feel...like I can stop holding my breath, and it feels damn good. Moving forward..I feel..strong, happy, and a sense ahhhhhhh...I am free.

So I say to you..wipe of the algae...stop holding your breath....

Almighty Heidi


Cat said...

Ah this is brilliant and I agree very similar to mine - we are on the same wave length here.

AlpHa Buttonpusher said...

Great comparisson. I love the pics in your sidebar.

AlmightyHeidi said...

Absolutely Cat when I read yours I was stunned.

Alpha thank you:) U are too good to me:o)

Sierra Wolf said...

I agree completely. I can't count all the times I've heard someone use the line, "That's just how I was raised . . ." It's lame. At some point, we all have to accept that we are adults, and choose for ourselves what we will keep from our childhood, and what we will leave behind.

MaQuade said...

All of what you said taken into consideration, you are STILL the Almighty Heidi who has been so strong and self-sufficient alone for the past 20 years. The past ex's don't count. Even with them, you were alone tugging dead-weight.

Just my 2 cents :)


Shadow said...

excellent post. and i say, rather feel guilty for a little while, than feel unhappy for the rest of your life! well done almighty one!

Chuck Dilmore said...

happy for you!
freedom is everything, and we have to chase it and make it ours.

great writing, too, by the way!

peace~ Chuck

foam said...

you know how much wisdom and self awareness it takes to realize that one is codependent? .. and then to do something about it? my hats off to you, heidi ..
take deep breaths and keep striding forward ..

Di-Git said...

Thanks for your posts

Marty said...

Oh Almighty One,

I agree with you that at SOME time in our lives we must ALL stop holding our breaths! We must either grow or die, there is NO other way.

I am passing on an Award to you over at my blog page.