I need to learn new coping skills. Writing is a healthy one, I need to write more..find the time to write more is the issue, but I think..if I really love me, I need to find the time.
For the past several months I have been in a whirlwind of job cuts, moving, ending relationships, and having my daughter get in an accident and have surgery. The last two months, after work I would have a glass of wine, then three, or captain morgan, and lots of it. One glass turned into nice warm buzz.
In my mind I deserved it, but in the end I was just trying to feel better.
When Kay was in the hospital I did not drink for 5 days, and my body was very thankful.
It dawned on me recently that I just don’t want to cope like that anymore.
So now I’m setting back, realizing what a pattern it’s had over the last few months.
I need to make a new pattern. I am at a good place in life now. I want to find other things that bring joy in, stress out.
Then life sends me a test.
A hard lump in my left breast.
My thoughts on 8/13/2009