When I was six I would pick dandelions. I did not know they were weeds. In my world they were beautiful yellow flowers...and these same flowers you could blow on and make wishes with.

About four houses down there was an elderly lady named Ms. White. I found out real fast if I brought her my treasured flowers, she would get wishes, I would get cookies!

I loved her..

Sometimes though, Ms. White’s great grandson would be over to visit. When I saw him behind her at the door, I wanted to run the other way, but she looked at me with relief..like somehow I could tame the wild animal with my magic powers.

Not so.

He was very hyper and it drove my little self nuts.

I wanted to dip my cookies in the milk, and watch the grasshopper in the screen. Ms. White would busy herself in the kitchen ignoring the boy who was in the chair out of the chair, back in the chair, out of the chair, tugging on grandmas apron, lying on the floor, talking to me…

interrupting my wonder of the grasshopper I roll my eyes in irritation and leave.

This is just a memory that brought me into this...

Dear God...the more invisible you are to me, the more I feel invisible to you.

I feel like the little boy who is in the chair, out of the chair, on the floor..trying to get your attention…

If there is a god..you don’t see me

Maybe you are looking somewhere else

Perhaps contemplating the grasshopper

Maybe you are busing yourself making something in the kitchen

Maybe I am just irritating

Maybe your just ticked cause I brought you weeds

I am here I am

look at me..see me…

Can I have a cookie?

Maybe I just need a dandilion and a wish...

Almighty Heidi


Shadow said...

mmm, i think he's closer than you think... love your dandelion wishes and cookies!

X. Dell said...

I can understand that it feels that way, at times. Unfortunately, I can offer neither platitudes nor certainty for such times. I can only hope that the divine within yourself doesn't flicker out.

matt at shadow of iris said...

Very nice thoughts and images and memories.

I'm not particularly religious or irreligious. But I'd like to suggest that in every images you created, there is a small miracle happening be it a dandelion or a cookie. If that's not God, then I'm not sure what is. :)