4/20/2010

Control

I have not posted in awhile. That is because..well..im stuck.

There is a place I see myself often..that fork in the road. I sit there, contemplate it, watch it, curse it, love it hate it. There are many forks on my path...many many thousands along the way.

I have a card on my desk that says "Every day is day one, every stinkin day"

Isn't that the truth. I cant seem to walk my first step on the path. Im stuck..contemplate it, watch it, curse it, love it, hate it.


Im in a strange season in my life. I dont understand it. I dont think my mind can even wrap around any of it anymore...it's just too much...so I find myself being stuck.

I dont want to go anywhere.
I dont want to do anything.
Routine is comfort.

Right now every thing is out of control..and I cant make it stop...and I am in a funk...wait a minute..
FUNK
there it really needed to be capitalized.

Im going to escape soon..
into the world of sweaty bodies...
no..not quite what you were thinking
although..yum that would be nice too
Im going to the gym
and try and work the funk out.

Sometimes that works..
and gives the woman who wishes she had some control over the life around her
a tad bit back
over her own self
and that is exactly what I need


Almighty Heidi

4 comments:

Cat said...

it must be a season for that feeling of being out of control, because sister, I am right there with you.
<3
Cat

~ Tabitha ~ said...

Sometimes we may not understand our funks and feeling stuck but we can try to trust that is where we are at for today.I can relate to your post and appreciate that you are going to work out what you can on your terms.
Happy sweating.

And thank you for sharing.

AkasaWolfSong said...

I think your friends are right on the money here!

I think sometimes we do need to just sit and be comfortable with ourselves and after a while we get up and get moving. I think they are serious times of growth but sometimes we don't recognize it as such?

Be Gentle With Yourself...and many blessings to you!

ozymandiaz said...

two things
what we tell ourselves our bodies take as truth
and
control is an illusion