Then Came The Fall

The weather is slowly starting to change..from 95 to..oh ..85,but the evenings are not humid, the wind is blowing the leaves in my backyard making them dance.

Fall is absolutely my favorite!

It s warm hot chocolate, stew, pumpkin spice loaf comfort food season!

It does not get bitter cold here in Florida...

and we don't get the beautiful fall colors..

but we can turn the air down real low and pretend.

This fall is bringing my father to live with me after he lost his job, and we help him through foreclosure and bankruptcy and fighting the VA so he can get health care, because he was denied benefits...so now he is uninsured.

I miss leaves crunching under my feet,

The yellows, reds and oranges...

Originally he was to move with my brother to Japan. Long story, but the airforce regulations are to strict.

I miss the smell of wood burning fires..and watching the flames flickering in the fireplace...

This fall brings pain to my daughter who has no health insurance. She has two herniations in her back, and we are stuck on the red tape government system of hell.

Somehow they (medicaid)came up with a figure of 3450.00 a month per month deductible that she would have pay before they covered any care. They base it on the household income..which mine is below 2k. It makes no sense.

I wonder..if I could even see the leaves turn colors..everything seems so grey.

So I'm taking her to a free clinic, that might be able to refer her out...To whom I don't know.. She just wants to finish school, and I see her trying not to get defeated.

Then the issues with my son.

I wonder if I could feel the warmth from the fire..or could I stick my hand in and feel nothing

There is a lot of weight on my shoulders. It keeps me up at night and gives me wicked sad dreams. All I can do is take it day by day..

pray for lotto..

and watch the leaves in my backyard dance.

~Almighty Heidi


Matt D said...

It has finally started cooling down here, too.

Hope you are hanging in there.

You're writing is always very beautiful!

-- Matt

AkasaWolfSong said...

Good Morning Beautiful....

Wish you were here to enjoy the changing of the leaves and cooler temps with me...it is amazing!

Heidi..Can you try United Way? I know they can sometimes point one in the direction they need to go to get help, as in the case with your daughter, or perhaps they can help as well. Just a thought as I know around here they do?

You are brave, courageous, and still that warrior writing her poignant feelings that touch all of us sooo much and with that I say I am still praying for you! Hang Tight Dear Woman!

Shadow said...

it may not be all 'sunshine and roses' as the saying goes, but your heart is alive and you have hope. hang in there...

Robin said...

I wish you could visit up here in the north east and see the beauty of this time of year.

Maybe someday when things are going better.

I'm hoping help comes to your family somehow....


Anonymous said...

yeah, love fall or 'autumn' as we call it to!

laughingwolf said...

heidi, tell your dad to get an advocate, from the disabled veterans association would be best...