The midnight quiet darkness is broken
the trees sound like ocean waves outside my window
limbs bending forcefully back and forth
angry explosions of thunder make me curl up into my blanket
I start to hear the heartbeat of the rain on my window
and feal not fear,
My place, my truth, myself, I feel so safe and warm, and right.
But all around me there is a storm that has been brewing.
My youngest son Michael will be going away for inpatient drug rehab.
He was caught up in his own storm.
We were all having our own crisis..
and he was the left behind lost boy
trying to find his way
his sister having alot of surgeries,
his brother having a mental breakdown
his mom finding her own way
He found comfort solace in all the wrong things.
Our family is broken
the storm rages
my mothers soul is being forcefully bent
afraid of the dangerous lightning
I hang on to the heartbeat of this new rain
trying to understand it and
make peace for what is and what is to come.
Finding grace in grief.
My thoughts on 3/31/2011