"The Mothership" speaks out

I got this idea from another blog I visited. There is no creativity left in my body whatsoever today, so, I will breakdown the weeks highlights.
But first as always the quote of the day, which idea I stole from my brothers blog.

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
Oscar Wilde

1. Started and ended a diet this week. Check out the new link.

2. I blame the diet not working on my job. The short staffed crazyness going on has left me contemplating starting a crack habit, drinking very heavily, or lying under the fetal position underneath my desk, but again as in my earlier blog I looked under the desk and saw that my toenails needed to be painted and that moment passsed. It is a good thing my cubicle is padded, all I need is a straight jacket to match.

3. I played poker with Tommy, he is an old friend of B's, who is about 70. He is always trying to touch me inappropriatly, and lets me know that he does not "get any" and he enjoys porn. OH MY GOD.

4.After having a horrible work week, I decide I will go to get my hair cut and colored. I desrve it. So I go to see "Tim" again who is a short chineese guy, who gets out his ginsu knives and ...chop chop chop...wahhhhhh, it's done. My hair is supposed to be dark brown, and it is jet black. I wante an inch off, he took three. It took me 6 months to grow out, I was feeling really sexy before, now...there are no words, which lead me to the big bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream, and Kleenex. The ultimate sad thing is B did not even notice. I suppose that is a good thing, but sometimes I must hit the man over the head to get any attention.

5. B invites me to back and play poker, I am mad he did not notice the hair, and I don't feel like being felt up by the old guy.

6. I never do paint my toenails

7. We have had a frog living in our toilet for the past year, since the hurricaines. I heard him come through the pipes, and he made himself a new pond. As of late he has made himself friendly and is on the shower curtain as I shower each morning. Why you ask "Havent we just gotten rid of the frog??" Well, we let him go once and he made his way back into our home. I think he likes watching me shower, it is the closest to male attention I have recived in a long time. I bet he would have noticed the hair color. He sits on the counter every evening as I brush my teeth, and get ready for work in the morning. It is the strangest thing, and please don't ask me what he eats, he does, after all live in a toilet.

I told him last night he must go back to his frog friends. Living in a toilet is no place for him. So we gather him up and take him outside, where he refuses to leave the tupperware bowl we have put him in.
This morning he was gone. I suppose he was the closest thing to a pet we have ever had. Although my daughter refuses to let me kill a daddy long legs she has in the corner of her room. She calls it "Phil"

8. Kayla is gone to her dads this weekend. "Phil" may have a tragic accident.

9. I ran my first red light.

10. I really want B to call my work tommorrow to tell them that "Yes, she has been abducted by aliens" so I can go lie on the beach somewhere in peaceful solitude..but I don't think they will buy it.




immixmarketer said...

I'm glad you like my blog. I don't paint my toe-nails, and no longer work at that job, but I totally support looking down to avoid making eye contact with upper-management.

Gone Away said...
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AlmightyHeidi said...
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