Heidi The advice columnist begins...

"Researchers from Christchurch School of Medicine, New Zealand have found that smoking cannabis nearly doubles the risk of developing mental illness."
Drugs/Alcohol/Addictions
Triple Helix Spring 2005


I got my first question, for my dysfunctional advise column! Woohooo. Please feel free to ask any questions you'd like about anything and I will answer them all out of total dysfunction.

How goes the drug addiction? - Posted by Rainy Pete http://uselessmen.blogspot.com/
He has a great advise column and http://rainypete.blogspot.com/ his own personal column as well.

I am not sure how to answer this question. Should I be offended at the thought that he thinks that by my apparent issues that I am a drug user? Should I be offended and hurt. Should I stay in a state of silent frustration and shrug it off? Nope, I will try and get verbally even by lashing out and I will just remind him that he is funny looking, not right in the head, short, and mostly confused...and he wears a red rubber clown nose on his site:)

To answer his question the drug addiction is going well:) Too well in fact. I had hurt my back 4 weeks ago, the doc gave me percocet and flexeril. The flexeril made me feel like I had about 4 shots of goldschlogger. Mellow, yet my brain and mouth could no longer form words. Throughout the weeks I have gotten used to the meds, and would like a refill please. Really..Seriously I would like a refill please,that'ss some good stuff. The percocet did nothing for me so I never took it after the first day.

Words of advise from a dysfunction malfunction: 2 days before hurting my back I decided to go on a slim fast diet. I just wanted to lose a few pounds the jeans were getting tight. So I started that, and took my drugs all day long as the doc prescribed.Stupid me I was slosshed, but had an amazingly mellow day at work, nothing at all bothered me. I had a poker game later on in the evening, and I always have 2 drinks on poker night. Totally forgetting. Just not thinking....I had not eaten all day, just the stupid slim fast shake and flexeril, I drank. I was currently in 5th place (winner goes to the world poker tour). Needless to say I was bumped down to 19th, and un-understandable.

Slimfast+muscle relaxant+2 captain morgan and cokes make your world spin in a very bad way.

So tomorrow is the last day of meds...I truly could be addicted...but will continue my legal addiction of starbucks vanilla latte's...even though I know it must be loaded with crack or something because I try and find ways to do coffee runs for the office..every day...got a headache...you need coffee...bad day..yup you need coffee. Which leads me to my next addiction of a very bad, terrible ugly habit, that I am ashamed of...pen chewing. There is so much caffeinee floating around in my brain that I compulsivley chew my pen to no end, it really is disgusting,but it is a good way to keep the co-workers away from my pen "stash".

In conclusion it leads me to wonder:
If my mother did smoke pot or eat those little majuanna brownies when I was in the womb...

I smoke pot only three times in my life. The last was laced or something and I was hallucinating and first thought the cops were after me and then I thought that I was flashing my parents at the dinner table (and yes I was actually at the dinner table with them). Freud should figure that one out!
So I figure any mental illness I will pawn off on my parents of the 70's.


Pete, I hope this helps!

Latte'

Heidi

(p.s. I really do like the rubber nose, I am not sure if you are really short or not)