What the Aliens Implanted In My Brain

Today I figure we will have a get to know the Almighty Heidi. This was all brought upon by my favorite blogger http://happyandblue2.blogspot.com/

He asked what are you famous for. Imagine my suprise....as if he did not know that I am Captain Markle's (by big brother Mark) side kick...in 1979 we were know as the biggest crimefigters around at 6 and 7 years old. In our pajamas, slippers and capes made from bedsheets we could fight evil doers, with a glance making them form into a statue of ice, and throw grown men to the ground using just one hand. We were famous, ok only to us and the neighbors dog (also named Heidi, and yes when they called her name for food I would instinctivly answer)

Oh the good times....ahhhh.

So all about the famous Almighty Heidi:

1. I was born in Hawaii. My father was in the military, and he was stationed there. When People asked me where I was born, they would say are you Hawaiian? I would lie and say yes when I was little because somehow that gave me the "cool" factor. Speaking of cool: I think being born in a warm climate was an omen. When I lived in Colorodo, it was just too damn cold. It is 47 degrees out in the mornings and evenings here in FLORIDA, and I am frozen. It is pathetic, I know. No mercy from you northerners, I'm sure.

2. I went to 12 diffrent schools growing up. I figure I never really knew how to bond into relationships because I was to shy and afraid everytime we moved, thus this transferred over into my adult life, and I am able to then blame all my disfunctional relationships onto my parents:)

3. I think I have the most amazing singing voice, but only in the shower, otherwise...it's just wrong.

4. I go and get my hair cut anytime I am going through emotional distress, and if I am just pissed I will go and color it. So far I have cut my hair to the shortest it has ever been, and have colored my hair 4 times in the last two months. This however was due to a haircoloring mistake that made strands of my hair...pink. My hair is very dark brown almost black...I am still trying to figure out how dark auburn can become pink. For all then men bloggers here is my psychological evaluation on women and hair....if you watch women closely, you will see I am right.

a. Women who go blonde are wanting male attention, we know all males love blondes. If you are married she is simply screaming for attention. If she is not married..there may be a "ho" factor in there somewhere.
b. any woman who streaks her hair is not nessasarily a ho. Blonde streaks are again for attention, red are for the sultry side of her, however it can also mean.."step away."
c. Hair cut short is a sign of them being pissed off and becoming more independant. We know you like long hair, and when we decide we don't need you anymore...whack there it goes. Mine is short, but I must say....damn I look good.
d. Any haircolor that goes with the natural tones means they are well balanced, happy, and independant.
e. Blue hair is just wrong.

5. I still want to go trick-or treating, I like getting presents on my birthday, and for it to be all about me:) I am selfish that way even though no one would know. But secretly inside I hope I get somethiing really neat-o for my birthday or what ever holiday, and get silently depressed if I don't get anything.

6. I once had a crush on Kevin in the sixth grade, he was hot. Then I saw him a few years later, after I switched schools again, and he was dog ugly. He recognized me, and I pretended like I did not know him, and my name was Jennifer. Yes women learn at an early age to be cruel I suppose.

7. I hate math. I really really hate math. God knows I hate math and he pputs me in a job where I m doing the billing in our department. I don't know what I did to piss him off so bad:)

8. I have an Associates in Science that I do not use, and am still paying on my student loan.

9. I forgot to pay the water bill, then I was baffled why I got a shut off notice.

10. I love my kids even though I think I may have dropped them all on their heads at one time or another.

11. I walk into walls, signs, doors and most non moving objects at least once a week. My parents realized that early on and gave me the nickname of "Grace" I am proud to say that I have passed this gene onto my blonde daughter, thus knowing I have the right child from the hospital. I could ever figure out how I have two blonde children, when their dad and myself, have dark brown hair. Noooo I am not a cheater. Never have been.

12. I have been divorced twice, and am only 32. The first we were married waaayyyy to early 17 &19 and he drank a whole lot and still does, and just decided why have one women, when there are many. The other I met in church thinking wow this is a nice wholesome guy. He went on to college to get a degree for drug and alcohol abuse counseling from a seminary,while relapsing into drugs and alcohol himself after being clean for 10 years. Then he became the spawn of satan and was mean, hateful and all of that.

13. I smoke. Only 3 a day but it is still icky.

14. I Love science. Ask me anything about any smptoms you are having, and I will know what it is.I was meant to be a doctor. I was a nurse for ahile, and...I was just meant to do more, but there was that whole get married when your 17 thing that screwed me up.

15. I was going to write a book about all the strange things in my life that I knew were going to happen before they happened. A strange Psycic ability in a way. Wish I knew the lotto numbers.

16. I hate sticky things.

17. I have a headache behind my left eyeball.

18. I like the smell of Gain and Bounce in my laundry.

19. I may send my middle son to military school for a big swigft kick in the...

20. You ever have that nagging feeling that you were just meant to do more, but dont know what that more is or how to accomplish so you are always seeking for the anwser that you cant seem to find? I know it sounds like 14. It is one in the same but diffrent.

21. I want to be kissed on new years eve.

22. I am the biggest romantic.

23. I think my brother is the smartest person in the universe. He is still my hero.

24. I love my mom and dad. I really dont blame them for #2. My mothere is the eccentric artis who is so entirely overly talented, but the biggest pack rat. My father is quiet, and wise beyond his years.

25. I don't like my job, butthey are flexable with my kid schedule so it is not that bad.

That's it for now.


Almighty Heidi


Champurrado said...

That clears up why she colored her hair blond.......

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I like you already!

BTW, I love short hair on girls. I'm trying to talk my wife into going short. She won't hear of it, though.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I forgot to tell you that I think "allmightyheidy" is pretty cool.

Not as cool as Lightning Bug's Butt, though. You wish.

happyandblue2 said...

I liked your list. It made me laugh.
I always thought women cut their hair because they were pregnant. Been my experience anyways. Observing, not being pregnant..

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