The Brain 101

Rainy Pete http://rainypete.blogspot.com/has told us to go back and read our archive blogs. I have realized how bad each month has gotten since starting the blog in March. I started out with entries that were a mile long, with quotations, and somewhat of a topic...down to nothingness. I figured it had to do with some sort of new brain disorder, or the aliens that are in my head:), and yes happy and blue, http://happyandblue2.blogspot.com/there are such things as aliens, it explains all my x's behaviors, and...well..michael jackson for goodness sake. There is nothing else in this world that can EXPLAIN THAT!!But first before we discuss that I must do a quotation.

"Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways." -- Anonymous

Made me laugh...WERE ALL GOING TO DIE. Just a friendly reminder from the almighty heidi to start your New year on the right foot....or the left, however you want it.

Today we are going to talk about the brain again...not just Heidi's Brain but the Brain in general.
Lesson 1:This three-pound organ is the seat of intelligence, interpreter of the senses, initiator of body movement, and controller of behavior. Lying in its bony shell and washed by protective fluid, the brain is the source of all the qualities that define our humanity. The brain is the crown jewel of the human body

I would not call it a jewel, it's kinda nasty looking...all round and grey and pink and shriveled up looking. We have family jewels, they look similar.

Let's talk about the real fun stuff...brain disorders:

Ok brain disorder number one: SAD, otherwise know as "Seasonal Affective Disorder" is brought on by a biological response to sharply decreased light. It is often caused by the weather, but it can also be brought upon by bad sleeping patterns and other such occurances.

My SAD is brought on by being in a dimly lit cubicle for 9 hours a day and not let out into the daylight, untill the daylight is almost gone. By then I am sitting in my car which has tinted windows that won't let the sunlight in anyways. This and sitting right across from the neurotic, obsessive cumpulsive, ADHD, cheap, loud, and pathilogical boss at my job...doesn't just make me sad..it can drive a woman to the depths of insanity that is just to humiliating to talk about:)

Brain disorder 2: Recent findings show that almost twice as many women as men suffer major depression, which can interfere with thought, sleep, energy patterns, and behavior. Newly developed medications have shown to be effective in treating depression.

Ok, for the womens defense: Women these days are expected to hold a full time job, get paid less than a man, child care giver, taxi driver, a dry cleaner, chef, booger wiper, a throw up cleaner upper, pick up the milk on the way home person, mold scrubber, critter killer, lightbulb screwer inner (amongst other types of screwing: being screwed, and screwing another), bookeeper,go to bed at 11:30 and get up at 6 because there is too much to do, carpet seweeper, glass cleaner, dishwasher, internet fixer, bad dreamer chaser,child referee, dog walker, bandaid giver, conference go too-er, and unconditional lover a family that does not recognize any other person thatn the one listed above. Ladies and gentelman..do you think for just a moment this is why she might be depressed??Excuse me while I go take my prozac!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Brain problem 3: Schizophrenia is now considered to be a neurodevelopmental disorder, and more effective medications have been developed.

Well...thank god, and I need some after brain problem number 2.

Ok: the structure of the brain:

"The hypothalamus is about the size of a pearl, directs a multitude of important functions. It wakes you up in the morning, and gets the adrenaline flowing during a test or job interview. The hypothalamus is also an important emotional center, controlling the molecules that make you feel exhilarated, angry, or unhappy. Near the hypothalamus lies the thalamus, a major clearinghouse for information going to and from the spinal cord and the cerebrum"

My question is, why did god only make this the size of a pearl...why not the size of a golf ball, or soccer ball for that matter. I need more "inner coffee" Also, I don't think my thalamus is working properly early in the morning....or just about anytime lately....there is not alot of information traveling too or from anywhere.

"Frontal lobes lie directly behind the forehead. When you plan a schedule, imagine the future, or use reasoned arguments, these two lobes do much of the work. One of the ways the frontal lobes seem to do these things is by acting as short-term storage sites, allowing one idea to be kept in mind while other ideas are considered."

I think men were born with defective or partially formed "frontal lobes" :It is their way or no way there are no "reasoned arguments" and women analize everything to death. They do have issues with the short term mermory loss....or their "short term storage sites" They do not remember that they just walked by another woman, looked her up and down, ad drooled. When you ask them they say "woman...what woman??" thus strengthening my argument.

There are many other disorders and structures to the brain, but this should be enough to keep everyone just inerested enough right now. I will write about the aliens another time. There will be a pop quiz on Friday.

Heidi..and her brain again.


Gary said...

Thanks for your comment on by blog. That was very funny.

schaumi said...

I have a hypothalamus thingy disorder. and my short term memory sucks. who's blog am i on anyway? and why have i been awake since 4 am again? and nobody's made coffee yet.

Rainypete said...

How about alien brains? Are they the same or remarkably different?

Champurrado said...


I'm reminded of my cousin, the brain surgeon (we made him a jello mold of a brain one year for xmas), who treated the famous DNA defying idiot and nominee for a Darwin Award who allowed his drunk buddy to attempt to shoot an arrow into an apple resting atop his noggin. After being admitted to cousin's hospital with an arrow sticking out of his eye, he is reported to have asked cousin, "Hey, doc, can you get this thing out of my head?" After successful extraction the idiot's family asked cousin whether there would be any brain damage to which cousin answered that he had real doubts about whether there was much brain in there to begin with.

AlmightyHeidi said...

Ha good one Champ:)