2/03/2006

Expiration Date

I had taken a leave from blogging, not on purpose, I was just to busy doing my son's project, which I hope I get an A on, and trying to catch up on some household chores.

While I am sitting here blogging trying to think of something creative, I notice the expiration date on my water bottle...has expired. How does purified water go "bad"?? I must make some sort of effort to see if my insignificant other has an expiration date on him somewhere as I am sure he has past it.

I noticed on my last blog I made a list of all the things that I like...I forgot to list my kids. Bad mom...bad bad mom.

This week I registered my daughter for high school. Her school is around 4 thousand students. I was more frightened than her. Plus...I remember what I did in high school, thus my graduation pictures 15 years ago, with her in my arms. She was a pretty good kid from the beginning as she made me go into labor during final week. Good girl:) She is very blunt and has a lot of common sense and "street smarts" which I tried to instill in her. For example:

1. Boys are bad, and make you cry because they all cheat.

1a. Boys cause big huge pimples.

2. That other part of his body..The other member...Don't let it near you or you will get pregnant and get AIDS, and big pus filled zits.

3. Kissing causes cancer.

4. Boys are really big green nasty aliens, dressed up as boys.

5. You really don't want your driving permit, as you will crash and die.

6. Drugs and alcohol will make your breasts shrivel up and fall off, and you will have cellulite all over your body.

7. Drug rehab is a scary place full of crazy people, child molesters and murders.

I think this will help her grow into a well rounded fair individual. I wish I knew these things growing up. This is more important than E=MC2 at this point, because what is the use of E=MC2 if you get knocked up, you die, or you end up in drug rehab.

Hope this helped all fellow blogges with teenage girls.


Heidi

5 comments:

Gary said...

If that's what causes zits, how come all the boys have them too? Wait...forget that. I don't want to know.

happyandblue2 said...

That should keep her out of trouble for a day or two, ha,ha..

schaumi said...

So, what do we tell those aliens that are masquerading as our sons?
ps: don't look for expiration dates on men....it's bound to be hid in some icky place..just assume it's expired.

Rainypete said...

Blast she's onto us!! Altert the fleet!

AlmightyHeidi said...

Schaumi.....that is a good question I will have to give it some thought.
Gary- Nope you don't want to know:)
Blue,your more than likely right, and Pete, if the nastiest ppart of your bosy is feet, your doin pretty good for a guy:)