My Ten Top Career choices

Browsing around on MSN today I saw the Top 10Career picks for Pisces. I am not much of an astrological sign person, but I did find it amusing.

To give you a round about of the article, it says that us Pisces, are creative and intuitive, and are never on time. (I beg to differ about the time thing). They happen to be very caring and compassionate.

Here are the top 10 choices:

1: Monk/Nun: I thought I was going to fall out of my chair laughing. Not something like a psychologist, or something...A fregging nun. It truly is a prophetic word to my future, as relationships have not been my strong suit, and I did say that If this relationship does not work out, I could became a lesbian or a nun.

2. Ok..brace yourselves, this one is even better.....A 'lighthouse keeper':
What???????? Ok, I am going to post my resume on Monster.Com requesting a job as a lighthouse keeper and see what happens, forget that my son does not know how to sim very well, he'll get over that quick the first time he falls into the shark infested ocean in the middle of nowhere.

3.Psychic: Well this could be fun. I will have my own 800 number, that cost 1.00 per minute.

4.Pharmisist: How boring is this one. However, I could get my hands on some hallucinogenic drugs, and this would help me with my psychic job, I think I might be onto something really good here.

5.Bartender: Been there done that...I ws akick ass bartender for a long time.

6.,7.8.9: Religious teacher, filmmaker, photographer, animator: They want me to have a job as a religious teacher. The use of alcohol from becoming a bartender might help. When I am drunk I lover everyone (thus child number 2)...and f there are other drunks around, they love me too. God is love, and love happens to be Captain Morgan. Yo ho ho and a bottle of yum.

Finally 10: After telling me I needed to become a pharmacist or bartender, it ends up with that I need to become....An addictions counselor.


Ok, let me share a few words about that. I could never, ever, become an addictions counselor, after living with an alcoholic, and a drug addict. My "therapy" would be to sent them to most remote part of the face of this earth with nothing..like a suvivor episode, for at least a year. Someplace where there are big gigantic killer bugs, no toilet paper, deodorant, or other human beings for them to make miserable. They would have to hunt and make their own food, and make there own housing.

A year later I would send a plane to pick them up. They will have hopes of coming back to real life. They will be thanking god that they made it through then would let them touch civilized land, create a huge dinner, invite them to sit at the table where they will haveto watch everyone else eat, and become full. Then I would have a few body guards throw them on a plane, and tell them...your not done yet, go back...and make them stay another 3 months, then do it again and again and again, and make life a living hell full of hope so they think "Maybe this time...will be it" and then have shoved back into their faces the bitter reality that it will never end...just as they had done to the families they have lived with before.

Ahhh sweet revenge.

I am ok....really:)


The ever so compassionate Almighty Heidi:)


Gary said...

Better start teaching your son to swim. I see a lighthouse in your future.

schaumi said...

....and I want to go on a lighthouse tour. I've never known a lighthouse operator.

AlmightyHeidi said...

Run Forest run.....thats like how my son swims. Schami, as soon as I land my job in the mid-atlantic, I'll let ya know:)

I figure I might as well be a drunk nun in the middle of knowhere, teaching strange religious things to my children.

Made myself laugh.

Ma~ said...

I wonder what job they suggest I should have...