Bringing you into my world

Ok so where have I been? Alien abduction of course!!

During this time away I had total lack of creativity as if it had been sucked out of my head by a big black hole. To make a long story short, I had alot of things going on...landed a promotion. I am not sure if it was by my low cut blouse, or "I'm quitting if I don't get paid what I am worth" and the low cut blouse, but I got it, and it was crazy from September untill now.

Then my son had an issue with...well..umm..er his penis ok? He had what the dr thought was a mass, that turned out to be an enlarged vein and if it causes him any sudden increase in pain he has to be taken to the hospital immediatly so he does not lose a nut. Yes...a nut. Poor little guy..12 years old and having doctors fondling him and a sonogram of those parts by a ultra hottie young lady, has left my son scarred for the rest of his life. It was like a bad movie. The doc comes in the room with what...oh yes another doctor, a medical student and they take turns...examining my son.

He did not speak to me for the rest of the day.

Hey..I love my son..he'll thank me that he will be able to keep his nuts in tack...unlike my dogs...which leads me to my next story..

I have adopted two dogs...pugs..Cosmo and Winston. They don't do much of anything. They do however shed..alot.

My other son had some medical issues as well which we later found to be some sort of enzyme defficency that lead to symptoms of gouty arthritis in his hands and neck, and made him throw up alot. It was horrible. How ever it did not account for his 14 year old attitude of "You're so dumb" and I know EVERYTHING because I am a 14 year old know it all, and my room is clean eyerolling. I need to make a pill a day to get rid of that. I could make MILLIONS!

Finally, I took a trip down memory lane and read all my old postings, as painful as that is. I read about when I had my last back surgery...my percocet psotings. I gotta say I am fucking hilarious.Well, at leaset I think I was. Let me just say..if we all had some PER-Co-cet...life would be alot happier. We could all be in MORopHINE land together...life is so much nicer there. I remembered ABSOLUTLY nothing bothered me there. Ahhhhh memories. I also posted how I feel sorry for people that were in pain every day. Well guess what..I am one of them.

Ps..if you do not like four letter words..mainly the one the f one, you know FUCK...don't read any furthur, I just read this blog before posting it,(no not to proofread my spelling errors..i will NEVER do that), but I feel I might have aquired touretts... I may have misspelled this too...)

Today I went to my neurosurgeon of two years. He likes looking at my boobs. He looks at them everytime I visit...or should I say when me and the girls visit. We discussed some options, one of which involves surgry. I can help but think that once I am on the table, in the little hospital gown, they will undrape my back, and he will take a nice long look at my ass...no, I know he will. I might just have my girlfriend write on my back for him to find "Stop looking at my ass and fix my back"

It's actually a funny thought.

Ok still laughing to myself.

This is where I think my black hole of "where did my creativity go" (no were not talking about my ass anymore)...it's in the black hole of "My fucking back hurts" Clearly the fuck word is my most powerful word of writing choice today...say it along with me F U C K..there now, dosnt that make everything better? It helps with my frustation and keeps me from going into the land O therapy

I did pain clinic, meditation, yoga, epidurals, but could I get the holy grail of PERCOCET? Nooooooooooooo. So for 2 years it has been an ALmighty Heidi struggle of PAIN. Don't ever get a back fusion.

I go next week I think to get the rods and screws taken out in hopes this will relieve pressure that it is putting on the herniated disk below my fusion and the brand fucking new herniated disk above the fusion.

But there is good news in all of this...welcome back MOR O PHINE my gooood long lost friend.

So this hopefully will be it, otherwise if I dissappear again, since no doctors will give out pain meds anymore,you will know that I have become a crack hoar in a city near you....ok maybe not...

So this where I've been. Not looking for pity..maybe percocet, but not pity...hahahaha. It's been so much fun reading my old gangs posts..xdell...rainy pete.. foam...you are still you and that makes life normal..or does it...I am talking about you guys right? hahahahahahaha.

Moral of todays story...all doctors are pervs....and quit looking at my ass....no not the cute one....

Love the ALmighty Heidi


X. Dell said...

Wow. The theme of voyeurism screams throughout this post. From your managers at work looking down your blouse, to the young woman looking at your son, to the doctors examining you.

Doctors are the worst. They treat everyone like a slab of beef. They talk to you as if you had the intelligence of a slab of beef too. As a healthcare professional, I'm sure you understand that to some degree. On the other hand, that screams for some new thinking in bedside manner.

Of course, one usually cannot tell doctors anything.

And I don't care how low cut your blouse is, a manager wouldn't risk (presumably his) reputation by promoting someone unqualified. You've most likely erned that promotion and then some. So give yourself some credit.

Am glad to hear that your sonwill be intact. That sounds like serious physical and psychological pain. I hope he does well long term.

You know, a thought just occurred to me. I obviously don't know what you look like. But if you have a really nice ass, your doctors might have less incentive to fix your back. You could put on thirty pounds, and see if that helps.

..................... said...

not a good idea with a bad back .. lol..
and besides, apparently some men like even bigger hiney's..

one nice thing about being almost 50 ..
nobody really looks at ya' a whole lot anymore ..

on the more serious side, i remember you being very concerned about your sons health right before you stopped blogging. i am glad the issue has resolved itself, but i understand how frustrating it is to deal with an ailing child. my youngest went through a month long debilitating migraine and missed 3 weeks of school..
i never felt so helpless..

and i do seriously hope that you can find some help for your back ..
help that is more long term..

X. Dell said...

My theory is that no one's looking at Heidi's back. It's like fighting fire with fire, burning brush before it can spread the fire, so to speak.

The doctors might have simply prolonged Heidi's treatment because they like to gawk. Foam's right about some men. The bigger the better I (er, they) always say. Most men aren't however. So I'm thinking that forcing them to look at your back might actually cure the ailment once and for all.

Of course, they'll most likely say that you have to lose thirty pounds.