5/06/2008

I'm bacccckkkkkkk

Where did the Almighty Heidi go? Simple..the aliens took me on a little sabbatical journey and now I am back cynical as ever. ..and of course, let’s not forget the male bashing 101 series that has just been boiling with brand new stories.
So for my next long awited story will start from square one, left brain vs. right brain.

Men are used to only using one brain, Ok, we all know about him using the one that is covered by a zipper on the lower part of his…region, but it is proven that he uses, most of the time dominantly the right side of the brain. While women…yes women use both. The right spatial part of the brain is where they learn visually not verbally.…aim and shoot…football, baseball, any ball, and video games etc… and sometimes even solving problems. When you say “Honey we need to talk” and it does not sink in, this is why:The left side of the brain is used for verbal skills. Men have to cross way over to the other side of the brain and this is too much work, like getting up to get the remote control off the coffee table when they are inches away on the couch.
Also it is proven hooking up both men and woman to a functional MRI, that while men are playing video games, that the reward center in their brain glows bright colors. While the woman’s reward center stays dim. We don’t get it. Women don’t get the reward pleasure of playing ridiculous games ALL DAY LONG FOR HOURS. We are able to flip over to the left side and say this is dumb, will I get anything accomplished by going to the next level? Absolutely not. Pretend game money means nothing…but don’t tell my son that, he will argue with you all day…the only verbal skills he knows, because after all he is male, and he is always right.
So moral of the story is while playing any kind of game form men….which involves the right side of the brain, reward central is going on.

Perfect example is my youngest son. I was a single mom potty training him, and I could try and TELL him how to aim (although, I did not have much of a clue how you all control that thing, most THINGS I met did not have much control anyway …made myself laugh). I finally got an idea to throw a few cheerios in the toilet since they floated, and told him to aim try and shoot the cheerios. After this experiment all was well in the potty arena. It was not so much the verbal directions that never did any good anyway, it was the spatial ability…aim and shoot…and of course the reward center is yelling Saying “ Yay, you peed on the cheerios! Do it again do it again.”

Perhaps the key to getting housework done is a reward center oriented game. If I put an actual basketball hoop over the washing machine perhaps clothes will automatically fall into there. Maybe if I had a button I could ring everytime something was picked up the floor saying “You are the man, you are awesome and there is no one on this planet like you” Things would be picked up more often. Maybe if I made up invisible money and if you do so many chores you automatically get to go up to the next level and get to put cool things on your pretend car….Ok maybe not, maybe all this time, with a grown man and two boys in the house, to keep pee off the toilet seat I should stick to keeping a box of cheerios in the bathroom.

7 comments:

foam said...

i'm telling you what, almightiest of all heidis..
when you take a sabbatical you take a sabbatical. this time i thought you were gone for good! but it's good to have you back.
foam

AlmightyHeidi said...

I know right?? I just had absolutly nothing to write about. I lost the creative genius, but he always comes back. Sometimes just gotta let go:)

I have read your blogging alot, you have really morphed since the beggining, in a good way of course!!!

Rainypete said...

f you want to keep pee off the seat you need to spring load it to stay up instead of down. Unless you're built like Nicole Ritchie your body weight will keep it down without any peril to you and then it's safely stowed out of the "blast zone". Why is okay for theater and stadium seats but not for toilets??

X. Dell said...

Hmmm. Actually, women and men use both sides of their brains constantly unless they have had some kind of trauma to one hemisphere (e.g. stroke or head injury). There aren't enough details in the MRI study to determine if other factors were involved with the findings, for I know plenty of women who actually like video games, starting with my sister. Variables could be the types of games played (i.e., a subcultural difference--someone unfmiliar with football might not find much reward in Madden, for example) the enviornment of game play, and so on.

There could be some substantial psychological differences between men and women, but a lot of its hard to verify. As soon as parents dress little girls in pink and little boys in blue, kids are socialized very early on, even before the development of speech. So men and women, who actually tend to make the same choices if faced with the same situation, very often do not face the same situation.

For real behavioral differences between men and women, I don't think the answer lies in psychology (especially neuralpsychology), but rather sociology.

AlmightyHeidi said...

x-dell..then perhaps I should have taught my daughter to pee on the cheerios too if it is purely sociological:)

X. Dell said...

Heidi, if she's peeing standing up, she'll need more help than Cheerios can provide. I would suggest life savers--not the candies, but rather the kinds you see on boats.

Debi Bender said...

Dang, you never told me about the cheerio trick, Heidi. I could have used it with your dad. Well, maybe, since we are heading into our senior years, I'll remember it, and when he starts to have trouble aiming again, I'll buy a box of Fruit Loops...

BTW, I didn't know you look up words in the dictionary, too, just out of curiosity. I've read the dictionary for years. I guess it must be something left-brained and genetically passed down from mother to daughter...

Wow. You really hit a nerve with x.dell. He took your funny stuff about left and right brain seriously! He is a "he," right?