Well, today at lunch I got my ol' handy dandy bill book out. Started paying some bills and looking twoards the future, instead of trippin up looking behind me.
The Almighty Heidi has a tough tough plan that I wanted to put in effect, but could not because of my third, and last back surgery. Now that I am strong, and all better..I can start to see through the fog.
I have been struggling soooo long in a very sick relationship of give and take. I give..he takes...and takes..and takes. There are so many stories..but I'm done looking back, feelin sorry for myself. And when I made this..change in my heart..I deserve..better, I strangley was ok with all of this. A lightswitch finally went off..and wow.
The countdown is 7-8months due to a very expensive lease, and some other things that I need to take care of finacially..so I have to be very secretive, which I hate.
I told a freind today, it's like getting ready for a birth of a new child. The expectation, getting the room prepared, the excitement....
Well, I am preparing. I put little bit extra in my savings today..went over the bills I gotta take care of with my tax return next year...budget out the cost of a new place, the move...and I was freaked out that he might take all my stuff..well..honestly..I don't care anymore. Take my stuff..take it all, because
I have this familiar feeling..it will all work itself out and it's gonna be ok.
Hey..and I might start sellin this!
Set up a pay pal account for my own "New Improved 2009 Model " of the
Almighty Heidi....ohhh she has even more super power gadgets this year...
"I'm not gonna take any more shit from you disolver gun"
And the: "Yeah...I can walk on water if you want me to, but I'm not gonna, cause I don't have to boots"
"Oh, I know you did not just put me down and emotionally try and kill my spirit..PENIS ZAPPER!!"
(Only 19.95 comes with a set of free Ginsu knives that can cut through a coke can..and a tomato, and possibly a penis but i have not tried yet)