1/14/2009

Confessions of The Aliens In MY Brain

Ok, you know when you start out a relationship..and the you and the other person put on the nice face. The one that is trying to impress the other person? I have been guilty of this, getting my nails done, doing the little extra. But as a person coming out of a relationship..it is a little frightning to think about the whole thing again.

So I thought I would do my annual male bashing, just to help the sisters in need out...to help see through the bs.

1. If he has lipstick on his collar that is not your color, it did not come from you, therefore he either has another woman, or his transvestite lover left his/her mark.

2. Just because a man is tall or has big feet, hands, or whatever..does not mean that he has a big penis...trust me on this one.

3. If a man has better manicured nails than you do, he will more than likely have more hair and skin products making him a metrosexual. Not nessasarily gay..just into himself, and his bathroom time. ..

4. Porn...if he has it, he loves it...and watches it...all the time.

5. If you see white rope on his bed posts by the headboard, you are not the first girl he's tied and got kinky with..

6. If he has issues saying I love you, and shortens it to "Too" or "Me Too" when you talk to him, he will always have issues.

7. Ok..seriously just heard this from a girlfriend..if he is TEXTING while bow chickie wow wow-ing...umm girl you need to throw his ass off the bed!!!

8. If they get a call and tell you "Be quiet for a sec, it's my wife" (this happened to me about 10 years ago)... It;s time to go. ( I had noooo idea).

9. Never let a man degrade you in private OR public.

10. Never settle.

Latte'

Heidi

4 comments:

foam said...

good points ..
especially the degrading one ..

and you know ..
summer Will come ..
and with it the end of a lease ..

XO

MaQuade said...

It's one thing to text ABOUT bow chiki wow wow... but to text DURING???

WTF!?!

Oh, and the ropes on the bed mean you're dealing with someone who is confident and secure and open about his freak side... AND you'll know it sure as hell won't be amateur hour!

Rolf said...

I have 8.5 in shoe size
and ....

AlmightyHeidi said...

Foam: Points taken:)

Maquade: You are a sick fucker..you know I love you.

The Texting during sex was a true story from my freind Lauren this past weekend. It was too good to keep to myself!!

ROLF: Welcome to my blog:) And as far as the shoe size...we might need to talks, see i'm doin a research paper and umm..HA!
Have a great weekend!!