...and finally...sleep

Part of me is excited about getting a second job. Knowing I can support everyone is huge of course, but getting back into a field I love, would be even better.I’ve done this before, I do not look forward to being exhausted, but…I want to be on my own so it is worth it.
Then the voice..look how much time you have wasted…and I could feel the voice shaking it’s head in disappointment in me.
Damn Aliens in my head...
Shut up.

That’s the voice that wants me too look at my whole damn life, regret not finishing college, regret regret regret...but no...I refuse and make it go away.
The teenagers:
The kids evidently had redbull or something with A LOT of sugar before I came home last night because they were bouncing off the walls.

I just wanted peace. They wanted just the opposite.
Michael, my 13 year old, goes to take a shower. Finally I get them all to settle bit before bed. I almost had my head down on a lovely feather pillow when..
I hear a blood curdling scream.
It is my daughter.

She points..with her hand over her mouth in disbelief..at her brother.

"I prefer to air dry” says my naked son.

Oh my god. He has been preferring to sleep naked too. I..just don’t know about that one.

But these are the things…that just make you crack up after being in your own head all day stressing out. These are the priceless gems I will tease them about when they become parents of their own.


Finally I was able to sleep. I was in somebody’s arms all night in my sleep, I could feel them, I kept waking up and I was alone on the couch, but it made me smile because It felt good..I swear my head was on someones chest, it was warm, and I could feel the breath in and out on my arm.
Ahhh security. ...
Then I dreamed of being outside..it was warm, and cool at the same time, under the moon..I love the moon..I stare at it alot..I have since I was a kid. I always put my thumb up to it to make it fit my fingernail...still do.
I also dreamed..beleive it or not..get ready for this one...aliens. Trying to destroy me, but I would not let them..hmmmm..yeah working out the internal conflicts huh? (I won by the way..the bad aliens had to leave..the good ones are around somewhere..)

Almighty Heidi and her little green friends


MaQuade said...

IT's not time wasted... it's experienced gained. There are things coming to you now that you might not have been ready for while you were gaining the experience :)

LOVE the moon! Ever seen it through a good telescope? I need to get mine realigned so I can use it again- it's ready; just sitting on the shelf in the garage.

What a great dream... to be sleeping in THE ONE'S arms. I'm glad you woke up from it feeling good even though you were, for the time being, not actually in those arms.

Ever seen the moons of jupiter or the rings of Saturn??? Again... I've GOT to get my 'scope aligned :)

(Maybe we can see the aliens too)

Lisa said...

time and experience are never wasted- it is all forward motion dear friend.
naked boys are part of the deal i think- nothing like that to bring you back to reality xx

Anonymous said...

So you did not finish college.
But you are one of the very best American writers I know. I guess a lot of the best writers never ended college

God did not create hurry!

AlmightyHeidi said...

Maquade: My brother and I used to have a telescope. We gazed at the start alot, and caught fireflys at night. I miss those times!
Lisa: Ahh pure wisdom comes from your mouth!
Rolf: Ok, that was perhaps one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. It made me tear up. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.