Empowerment For The Aliens In My Head

Work has been kinda slow. I have been thinking of some crazy wonderful things lately. When I was a little girl I was soo scared of loud noises. At fourth of July I would be in tears, as all the sounds terrified me..seriously.

I lived near a military base when my dad was in the marines. The helicopters would fly real low over our house, and the loud whop whoop whoop whoop of the blades would scare the bejeebers out of me. They also resmbled giant grasshoppers to me..so I imagined them swooping down and taking me away to gobble me up.

To be a shy , very sensitive little girl, who lived mostly in her own inner world of imagination…the real loud world scared me...(it still does..ha!!)

Growing up with my dad we watched LOTS of old war movies, and the tv shows such as MASH.
To me war was petrifying, and made me sick to my stomach, and it still does...The helicopters, the guns, the marching soldiers,the tanks on base and aircraft..was all for..war...I got this as a 5 year old, i did understand.

My entire family is militarty..Father..grandfather, brother. My son wants to go as well… I do honor all the soldiers for putting their lives on the line.. I honor my family.

but my stomach will ALWAYS turn because

I don’t understand the inhumanities of the world,

torture because of a different belief,

religion,

or lifestyle…

but unfortunately HATE will always exist….tolerance may never be fully seen on any level…

I decided to face one of my fears. NO idea why, just thought I should.

I do not like guns...

he first time I saw them was on a gun range, not sure if it were at the base or not, but it stems from that time when I was little.

I am terrified of them.

I must have been killed by one in a former life. If a gun were in a room, I would not touch it. I don’t care seeing them in movies and such, that does not bother me...but in real life..my heart skips a beat…or two..or three....and i break out in a cold sweat...

So… sometime soon….

I’m gonna go to a gun range..and shoot a gun…

totally NOT in my nature,

but just to empower myself..and not be afraid...

I just want to face my fears..this being the first one...to say i can...

next is heights..

because the Almighty Heidi does not jump off buildings in a single bound cause she gets real dizzy and wants to puke...

(And nooooo im not gonna shoot B..ya'll are just sick)

Latte’

Heidi The Almighty Gun Slinger