5/25/2009

Drowning in my head



Today I want to hide under my covers
push the world away for a little longer


Thoughts..

they swim in my mind
relentlessly whispering


How are you going to do it
You cant do this
What if something happens
What will you do then
You cant do this
you cant handle this
You will fail


and then I start feeling like a failure
and I sob quietly
so no one will hear my pain

Then somewhere my own voice begins
quietly doing battle in my mind...

I cant do this anymore.
I might fail
I might land flat on my face

Im not sure how
all of this is a mess
I might land on my face
but it is ok
I am ok

I take a deep breath..
and Let go
and I'm empowered
if not for a moment
by this release

and the voices they quiet...they linger
always waiting to come back,
but not today
and I pull the covers off my head....


Almighty Heidi

4 comments:

Cherie/ Butterfly Dreamer said...

Oh sweetie we all feel like that but we have to keep on trying .....

terri said...

each round under the covers gives you something...something about
the fear overwhelming you...and then
coming out anyway....

those empowering feelings....even if they just last moments, add up.
and add up. and add up.

almighty indeed.

MaQuade said...

You have NEVER failed :)

Cat said...

I know those voices - they lie to us!