A good cup of Joe.

Dedicated to "Kat" my grandmother..who I miss so much today.

Here's a great mellow song that I had to take a warm bath to after writing this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LWpw3CMCEg

I went looking for a new place this weekend...and there is still no match to what I have in my head and heart, and what I can afford. I wish I had a thousand dollars more, for deposits and movers, and life would be good, but I don't so I am keeping my eyes open. I still have not found job number two yet and today I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.

There is a comfort I think a woman has in having a home, making it hers for her family. For me it is a protective thing to, I don't like maintenance men coming in while I am not there..something about strangers is icky to me.

So until I can put some roots down in a new home, I feel uprooted and restless. I really think it is a woman secure thing.

I went to my room to lie down for a few minutes, my back was bothering me after cleaning, and I snuggled up under the covers for ahwile, trying to make the world stop for a moment and then I started talking to my grandmother.

Silly part....shes not living...but I feel like she hears me..and if not..well..

Kathleen, my grandmother was such a great life planner, financial planner, organizer, super woman type, I just felt like I could use her help.

So as im talking out loud I could see her tapping her fingernail on the table and pouring out advice...along with a steaming cup of coffee.

Grandma was a giving woman too..she would have been right there making sure I had everything I needed and more. She soo loved to give, and I how I wish I can be like her. It brought her so much joy.

That was who she was...boy I miss her right now.
I need the advice..and a good cup o joe.

It is amazing how holding a warm cup in your hand of tea or coffee, amongst good friends and family has healing calming powers..
unless of course you have 5 cups :)

More than anything...could sure just use a hug..and a look in the eye that says everything is gonna be ok...that is what she was best at.

Love Almighty Heidi


MaQuade said...

I have your hug. LOTS of them. And while you're at it, check the look in my eye.

I may have my own needy times, but even those are about you.

Lean back... I've got you.


MilesPerHour said...

While physical hugs in the blogoshere aren't always possible, you can be sure that many of us will reach out in words. Here's a hug.

Shadow said...

she may not be here, but you most certainly may have a conversation with her.

foam said...

ahhhhhh ..
yes ..
it's summer ..
and time for a change..
best of luck to you, sweet pea..
your grandmother sounds like such a wonderful woman.

Cherie/ Butterfly Dreamer said...

I know exactly what you mean sweetie. I miss my grandma all the time.

Cat said...

Oh I had a grandmother just like this - do you know when my boys were born I was sad , that she would never meet them.

I talk to her all the time, and i do believe that she hears me...

What a great idea I have of a place where your Kat and my Ethel are in heaven sipping coffee and waiting for us to join them.