I want to be invisible.

Invisable emotions, hide them away so no one can see.
Not even I, so I cannot feel the raw emotion.

I dont want to be touched.. by you who has hurt me.
If you don't see me,
you cant cause me pain,

if you cant touch me
you wont know who I am inside

quiet whimpers of tears in the night

Leave me alone, let me be
you who have hurt me

watch as I dissappear

I want to push you away
watch as I push

and push me
into myself

hiding like a broken child

and I fade away
choosing not to feel
you are no longer allowed
you have not permission

Only I choose who sees

and suddenly I am blind.

Almighty Heidi


foam said...

i'm so sorry you've been having such a hard time heidi. i read some of your previous posts on google reader.

AlmightyHeidi said...

eH, Im ok, I have not cracked yet. My hand now has MRSA and now I am fighting that infection daily with fevers and such.
My writings have been so "down" but these are just thoughts, things to get on paper, to help me get through certain things.

Cat said...

Heidi, hang in there. I suspect you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for my dear.
Sending hugs and well wishes your way.

Shadow said...

taking back the power. you do that!

Just Be Real said...

Powerful Heidi. I am so sorry for your pain dear one....

Marsha said...

this too shall pass. each day leads to another, and eventually the sun does shine.

Cherie/ Butterfly Dreamer said...

Vent it out Heidi.This is how a writer purges all the poisons.