10/28/2009

Just Me

ME... Just me...

So..I feel like I have had some sort of mental block break through..not sure about what but it feels damn good.

Last night I had a dream of my x..he came into my house, never said a word, but he was looking room to room, looking at MY things..touching my things in my home. I felt violated, he did not belong there anymore and to get out.

It was good.

I don't have much to blog about, I have been hitting the gym, for my own self esteem issues pretty hard, went 6 miles today..and wow..it's amazing how much I feel like I'm venting when get there..how much anger I'm puting out, working out, and thinking about on the eiliptical..maybe thats why I went for so long. By the way.my favorite download is "best of you" by the Foo Fighters. The song was not on my playlist but here are the words..I LOVE THIS SONG.
I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you
Were you born to resist, or be abused?
Is someone getting the bestThe best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the bestThe best, the best, the best of you?
Or are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I'll break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the bestThe best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must confess
Is someone getting the bestThe best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?It's real, the pain you feel The life, the loveYou'd die to heal The hope that starts The broken hearts You trust, you must confess
Is someone getting the bestThe best, the best, the best of you?
I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new
Were you born to resist, or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in, I refuse
Is someone getting the bestThe best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?It's real, the pain you feel You trust, you must confess
Is someone getting the bestThe best, the best, the best of you?
Maybe this will help me get to my goal by my birthday..cause you know the Almighty once she makes up her mind about something...

I thought I'd share two pictures wth you just cause they made me smile.

This is me sharing my morning coffee at work with you..it used to be a double shot non fat, sugar free grande vanilla latte...due to the economy..it is now...Mccafe..Ha!



This is me right before I went to the gym after work..OOOhh I dreded it, Im saying BOOOOO in the picture but feel awesome now. Not a pretty picture but..Still laughing I look so enthused. NOT!
Thats it for today...

Oh I think I got it as I'm writing this..my past..my present..it does not define who I am..I make those choices. Yeah..ok I refuse :o) GOT IT!

YES!!

Almighty Heidi

2 comments:

Chuck Dilmore said...

dass what those wings are for!
awesome, Heidi!
C~

Cherie/ Butterfly Dreamer said...

You go girlfriend !!