I Do

Im not ready to get married anytime soon, in fact the "M" word makes me have to hyperventalate into a bag..I dont like the old marriage vows, or the idea of the old fashioned marriage.

I do not want to be..a Wife.
Wife is the cleaner, cooker,dog walker, provider of sex, and caretake of children and appointments...on top of providing an income on her full time job as well.

I want to be..partner..friend..lover..helper. I know in a relationship there are responsibilities, but I do not want that to define my "role". I dont even like the word role.

So I wrote up I do's..the way I would like to see them..one day..when I dont need a paper bag and xanex.

I Do
Promise to let you breathe
to let you make your own way

I Do promise
that if you change
not to be afraid
but to embrace it and recognize it
as you evolving into the person you are meant to become

I Do promise to say I'm so sorry
when I thought I was so right
and to hold your heart close
if I have hurt you

I do promise to love you
to the very best of my ability
when you are unloveable
understanding that I will have my days
of being unloveable too

I do promise when life just gets too hard
and the bills are piled up
and dogs thrown up on the floor

to find a way back
to the belly laughing
corney joke telling
snort when I laugh
person that I am

(while I ask you
to please clean up the throw up
its been a long day)

I do promise
to open up
and speak my mind fairly
and you yours

and not hold back on my journey
or hold you back on yours

but I will always ask
when I reach for your hand along the way
it will always be there waiting for mine.

~~So I noticed after I wrote this..that I was really writing this to my own self...

Try making your own "I do list"..it's very enlightening

~Almighty Heidi


Matt said...


Anonymous said...

Fuck...that was a good list. Loads of thought and shows just what a good and 'individual' partner that you'll be...

Nurse Practitioner Sue said...

beautiful, Heidi. I am so lucky to have a partner & not have to be a wife. I love you. Sue

Qn Dani said...

Beautiful - absolutely beautiful....

as a blog, as vows, promises and as a sacred honoring...

a beautiful tribute to you!

Thank you

MaQuade said...

What would the cake look like? :)

TheDailey said...

wow that was pure and extremely amazing to say the least