I Do

Im not ready to get married anytime soon, in fact the "M" word makes me have to hyperventalate into a bag..I dont like the old marriage vows, or the idea of the old fashioned marriage.

I do not want to be..a Wife.

Wife is the cleaner, cooker,dog walker, provider of sex, and caretake of children and appointments...on top of providing an income on her full time job as well.

I want to be..partner..friend..lover..helper. I know in a relationship there are responsibilities, but I do not want that to define my "role". I dont even like the word role.

So I wrote up I do's..the way I would like to see them..one day..when I dont need a paper bag and xanex.

I Do

Promise to let you breathe

to let you make your own way

I Do promise

that if you change

not to be afraid

but to embrace it and recognize it

as you evolving into the person you are meant to become

I Do promise to say I'm so sorry

when I thought I was so right

and to hold your heart close

if I have hurt you

I do promise to love you

to the very best of my ability

when you are unloveable

understanding that I will have my days

of being unloveable too

I do promise when life just gets too hard

and the bills are piled up

and dogs thrown up on the floor

to find a way back

to the belly laughing

corney joke telling

snort when I laugh

person that I am

(while I ask you

to please clean up the throw up

its been a long day)

I do promise

to open up

and speak my mind fairly

and you yours

and not hold back on my journey

or hold you back on yours

but I will always ask

when I reach for your hand along the way

it will always be there waiting for mine.

~~So I noticed after I wrote this..that I was really writing this to my own self...

Try making your own "I do list"..it's very enlightening

~Almighty Heidi