8/11/2010

My Mosiac


Mosaic art became really popular there for awhile. I think when I get older, that will be one of my hobbies..making something beautiful out of the broken.



The past few weeks have been so difficult. Just when I think I have things figured out, or manageable, the glass gets broken into even smaller pieces..even the music in my head seems out of tune..nothing makes sense.


I had found a part time job, to go along with my art time job waiting tables. Together, life would have been tight, but it was something.

I was told I was needed asap, then it went into the next week, and this week, now I might not be needed till September.


Earlier this month I had a "Random Act of Kindness" bestowed upon the old Almighty. A financial gift from a stranger to help pay the rent and my electric this month. Without this help I honestly don't know where I would take my kids to live.

I ate a piece of humble pie, with a side of "I cant believe this is happening" , followed with a big thank you and a sigh of relief. That is just stuff you see on Oprah..not in my life :)

This random act was the glue of hope I needed..so I could put a few pieces of my life back together again. It brings some faith that maybe, just maybe, there will be a soft safe place to land.

Truly I'm not sure what the future is holding.
I signed up for some online classes for the future me, to put her at ease.

The present me is still frightened but full of hope..and my Mosaic is like a kaleidoscope lately,
full of color,
blurring and changing,
clear, then unclear,
then changing again.


I really hate change, I fear change, my world goes in vertigo around it, but here it is like it or not.

I have come to the realization that I don't think I have any control of it.

I can put out resumes, and try and keep life going the way I know how..but the rest of it..waiting for the glue, trying to listen to the silent knowing, that it will all be OK.

Picking up and starting all over..again, and again.

Somehow, something beautiful will be made out of the broken.


Almighty Heidi

3 comments:

Sue said...

And......sometimes it feels good to smash the glass with a hammer to start your mosaic! Make sure you're taking care of the most important ingredient of any good mosaic; the artist. Love ya, Almighty!

laughingwolf said...

the current economic climate sucks so much for so many folk, only the lucky, or plucky, will survive... you seem to be one, heidi... blessings to you and yours

Matt D said...

One thing is for certain, even with things being tough, you still express yourself beautifully! :)