What Happens Next

What happens

when the life

that you love

does not love you back?

Today I read

"Each experience in your life was absolutely necessary

in order to have gotten you

to the next place

and the next, up until this very moment"

just for today..

I'm tired of the life lessons

Seriously

I would like a vacation from lessons please.

I'm just wanting to buy my kids Christmas presents..

maybe for Kayla to have a pain free day

a second job..so I can take care of the kids..my dad...

I just want to live life and love it

without worrying about it every moment

and maybe

just for once

have life love me back

cause I'm trying over here..

I am

so..

love me back.

~Almighty Heidi

Faith

Where has my faith gone?

The faith

Of the things unseen

Unheard

Hope...

Felt to my core

Deep down.

My soul

listening,

she begs

"Don’t stop
Never stop wanting
Needing
Yearning
Longing"



My mind steps in

Reminding me

That maybe it is easier to just settle
It's just over, it is what it is.


Lying down at the place of quitting,
or
Giving up..

I don't want to

but I can't raise my head.

So today I need you..

Borrowing your light for awhile

Your faith

Your energy

Because im so tired

I have fought for so long.

And I listen to the voice again that says

"Don’t stop.
Never stop
Never stop wanting
Needing
Yearning
Longing"

So I can get back up

and I know

as long as I am still breathing

Its not over yet.


~Almighty Heidi