The Storm

The midnight quiet darkness is broken
dangerous lightning
ghostly wind
the trees sound like ocean waves outside my window
limbs bending forcefully back and forth
angry explosions of thunder make me curl up into my blanket
I start to hear the heartbeat of the rain on my window
and feal not fear,
but peace
~Almighty Heidi


My place, my truth, myself, I feel so safe and warm, and right.

But all around me there is a storm that has been brewing.
My youngest son Michael will be going away for inpatient drug rehab.
He was caught up in his own storm.


We were all having our own crisis..
and he was the left behind lost boy
trying to find his way
his sister having alot of surgeries,
his brother having a mental breakdown
his dad..disappearing
his mom finding her own way
He found comfort solace in all the wrong things.


Our family is broken
the storm rages
my mothers soul is being forcefully bent
afraid of the dangerous lightning
I hang on to the heartbeat of this new rain
trying to understand it and
make peace for what is and what is to come.
Finding grace in grief.

~Almighty Heidi

Following The Trail Of Honey

"I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit.
"No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't. But there was going to be when I began it. It's just that something happened to it along the way."”


There is a place my soul has been seeking, the land of milk and honey..I have allowed myself to follow the trail of the honey to find myself..

I am happy
I am secure

though the world around me is spinning out of control,
a son that I have to seek support for,

another son I have to get a bunch of medical tests on,

a daughter who is in chronic pain,

my brother in Japan, him and his family praying against nuclear meltdown...
I should be a complete mess...

but instead..

I am just...complete.

Such a strange alien place where the trail of honey has led me...

In the darkend places there is light..

and the light is all I see.

I have so much to share...

about the places that happened along the way

~Almighty Heidi

Finding Center

I moved this past week
on my birthday

it was a re-birthday
Something I wanted to do, I needed to do
things have changed so much.
in a good..butterfly kinda way.

My new place is...zen. Warm..comforting..happy.
My favorite part is unpacking, and decorating.
I have an uncanny way of putting pictures up at the perfect height and perfectly centered, and the thought hit me..

The past year has been the most painful, suffocating, exhausting....

It has had me face my own self,and I listened to her...
I really listened to my own soul....


I have found my center
What a great re-birthay present

it is zen
warm
comfort
happy...and Im holding onto that

because..

Life is difficult
Teens with issues,
bills to pay...
Single mommy hood with alot of hours at work
and not enough at home..

But finding my own center
of peace

maybe everything else might just fall into place a bit easier



It is time for my re-birthday. I will celebrate it every day
Come with me

Live OUT LOUD

this is the life I have
and am ready to fly,
ready to live.

I am free

Almighty Heidi