I read an article on CNN today and I do not know what to make of it. Stocks have been tumbling for starbucks about 20 percent. It also stated that their feircest rival is Dunkin Dougnuts.??
I am confused. I know that I, the Almighty Heidi, have funded much of Starbucks expansion in the central Florida area. 4 bucks for my grande non fat vanilla latte, and if the kids get something I am blowing easily over twenty bucks, and every now and then a girl just has to have an espresso brownie...(I think a god himself made this brownie).
Now dunkin doughnuts does have good coffee, but it is not the mercedes of coffee, for us hard core caffine addicts. I do not know where this competition comes in...and the atmosphere is not the same. I love the smell of Starbucks and the relaxed atmosphere, and music. Love it. There are mornings, I would just like to be hooked up to the latte machine, like an umbilical cord, and get my fix.
I am soo hard core I have my own espresso, latte' machine, coffe grinder, and all the fixin's, but nothing compares to having it handed to you made just right in the paper cup.
My concern is what happens if stocks continue to go down....will they start downsizing? Oh my GOD!! Will I have to go 20 milesout of my way to get my fix, because they closed down the stores on my way to work, or the bank, the store, and the sitter..and my parents house. OK I WILL.
What if they go bankrupt, and they stop selling coffee?? Am I doomed to finding black market starbucks on the internet, thats really not starbucks at all, but it costs me 1 grand to get...I might just consider it.
Will there be Starbucks rehabs made all around the globe.. for those of us having severe withdrawls? Oh god, I do not want to be around the president of this company when that happens. Life will be miserable. Teachers will be giving bad grades, people will be losing there jobs because they can't function in the morning, and damn it the whole econmmy might just collapse. And where the hell am I gonna get an espresso brownie when it's that time of month?
Latte'
Almighty Heidi
6/08/2007
6/04/2007
The Almighty Heidi Goes On Vacation
I have been away on vacation to the beach for ten days. I already notice the diffrence in my temprament, and how badly I must have needed this time.
My children are, or beoming teenagers, and my daughter will be 18 in 2 years. I realized that I have not taken them on a trip since they were little and we needed to develop some bonding experiences for them to remember for a lifetime.
Day 1: Got there late, kids bickered about who was going to get the front seat, mom he's on my side of the car.... how much longer, I have to pee...shut up...oh my god......ate went to bed.
Day 2: Woke up early went to the beach around 10 after a mighty big breakfast. My daughters breasts were exposed on a public beach after getting off her boogie board to find her top hanging by a thread. Kids went home tired, bickered about who gets control of the tv, who gets to shower first, mom he hit me...oh my god!!!!
Day 3: Woke up a bt later, got to the beach by two, another day of fun in the sun. Went out for lunch with sand in our shorts, (a bit miserable), showered, bickered over if we were going to see Pirates of the carrbian, spiderman three some horror flick or lovestorey, MOM he's on my side of the car...OH MY GOD
Day 4: After realzing that there were 6 days of vacation left, mom makes it a point to have an adult night out...and gets slammered. The Almighty Heidi thinks that she has had only 2 captain morgans and 2 shots, when in reality, it was 2 captain morgans double tall, the shot was for someones birthday and it was a three gulp shot, thus having to be at least three shots, and the last shooter was enormus as well. Maybe for a grand total of 9 drinks. Almighty Heidi trips over the children who fell asleep on the condo floor, and races to the bathroom over, and over, and over....and over again...all night long. P.S. Happy Birthday Bruce.
Day 5: Not a good day...just not a good day.
Day 6: Recovered fully, kids are rearing to go, we fish, swim, eat, sleep. I get the front seat, No you don't stupid, you got it last time!" OH MY GOD WHO WANTS TO PACK!!! My 14 year old comes out of the shower and loses his towel, and OH MY GOD, I do not know how he got...so...big. I am blinded for life. Once by my daughter and now by my son. Scarred. My youngest son is jealous and asks when will he hit puberty.
Day7: One more adult evening plan since the birthday did not go so well. ZERO drinking involved this time. Went on a boat....it had 7 foot seas that night, the crew, and passangers were all sick, not a bathroom in site not being used...disgusting.
Day 8: We blow 50 dollars at an arcade, 50 dollars on bad tourist food, and I am ready to go. No none of you can sit in the front seat, the remote control is mine, and no you can't have ice-cream. If you do drown in the ocean...there is a possibility, I may forget to tell the lifeguard!!!
Day 9: After many fond memories, Almighty Heidi packs her, and her almighty children up, and go home a day early. All in all a good bonding memorable experience for us all.
Ahhhh vacaton.
My children are, or beoming teenagers, and my daughter will be 18 in 2 years. I realized that I have not taken them on a trip since they were little and we needed to develop some bonding experiences for them to remember for a lifetime.
Day 1: Got there late, kids bickered about who was going to get the front seat, mom he's on my side of the car.... how much longer, I have to pee...shut up...oh my god......ate went to bed.
Day 2: Woke up early went to the beach around 10 after a mighty big breakfast. My daughters breasts were exposed on a public beach after getting off her boogie board to find her top hanging by a thread. Kids went home tired, bickered about who gets control of the tv, who gets to shower first, mom he hit me...oh my god!!!!
Day 3: Woke up a bt later, got to the beach by two, another day of fun in the sun. Went out for lunch with sand in our shorts, (a bit miserable), showered, bickered over if we were going to see Pirates of the carrbian, spiderman three some horror flick or lovestorey, MOM he's on my side of the car...OH MY GOD
Day 4: After realzing that there were 6 days of vacation left, mom makes it a point to have an adult night out...and gets slammered. The Almighty Heidi thinks that she has had only 2 captain morgans and 2 shots, when in reality, it was 2 captain morgans double tall, the shot was for someones birthday and it was a three gulp shot, thus having to be at least three shots, and the last shooter was enormus as well. Maybe for a grand total of 9 drinks. Almighty Heidi trips over the children who fell asleep on the condo floor, and races to the bathroom over, and over, and over....and over again...all night long. P.S. Happy Birthday Bruce.
Day 5: Not a good day...just not a good day.
Day 6: Recovered fully, kids are rearing to go, we fish, swim, eat, sleep. I get the front seat, No you don't stupid, you got it last time!" OH MY GOD WHO WANTS TO PACK!!! My 14 year old comes out of the shower and loses his towel, and OH MY GOD, I do not know how he got...so...big. I am blinded for life. Once by my daughter and now by my son. Scarred. My youngest son is jealous and asks when will he hit puberty.
Day7: One more adult evening plan since the birthday did not go so well. ZERO drinking involved this time. Went on a boat....it had 7 foot seas that night, the crew, and passangers were all sick, not a bathroom in site not being used...disgusting.
Day 8: We blow 50 dollars at an arcade, 50 dollars on bad tourist food, and I am ready to go. No none of you can sit in the front seat, the remote control is mine, and no you can't have ice-cream. If you do drown in the ocean...there is a possibility, I may forget to tell the lifeguard!!!
Day 9: After many fond memories, Almighty Heidi packs her, and her almighty children up, and go home a day early. All in all a good bonding memorable experience for us all.
Ahhhh vacaton.
5/14/2007
Respect Your Elders
Normally, in an emergency situation, the Almighty Heidi has some pretty quick reflexes. I will be the first mom on the field in a baseball game injury, the sight of blood, open wounds, broken bones and such do not bother me. If you keel over, and I am in the room, I will be the one doing the CPR. This comes in handy with having three children. I found out that my sons, however big and strong they are will be brought to there knees with the sight of blood.
Now….that you are in the mind of the Almighty Heidi…this story has me questioning my mighty abilities:
Florida is in dire need of rain. There are bout 200 brush fires all over the state, and you can’t walk out your door without being chocked with smoke, and ash up your nose. It is a bit freaky when you start hoping for a tropical storm.
This has nothing to do with my story other than the fact that it made me think of this one: Quite a few months ago, we did get rain. And it was a down pour for the first 15 minutes on my trip to work. By the time I came to my street to turn on, it was sprinkling. The road is a mess, puddles and water is streaming down overflowing the gutters.
I look ahead and there is an adorable 70 year old lady with a hat, and clutching her tiny purse trying to make it to the bus stop. She is running as quick as her little legs will take her. It was a bit amusing and cute. As I am getting closet to her I look out the right of my car to catch a glance of her again, and just then BAM!!!!!!! Hit a big huge pothole overflowing with rainwater. SPLASH!!!! I soak her from head to toe. She stops dead in her tracks, pauses to see what the heck just happened, looks down in disgust and wipes herself off as best she can. She proceeds to re-set her hat on top of her head, and jump starts her running pace to the bus…while I kept driving in shame.
Any other human might have stopped and offered her a lift…it was like leaving a wounded animal on the side of the road…is the Heidi really Almighty, or just a coward??
Either way, I will never forget, and the sick part of me laughs at the image of the old lady in my head. Maybe It's the Aliens who made me do it.....those damn aliens.
Almighty Heidi??
Now….that you are in the mind of the Almighty Heidi…this story has me questioning my mighty abilities:
Florida is in dire need of rain. There are bout 200 brush fires all over the state, and you can’t walk out your door without being chocked with smoke, and ash up your nose. It is a bit freaky when you start hoping for a tropical storm.
This has nothing to do with my story other than the fact that it made me think of this one: Quite a few months ago, we did get rain. And it was a down pour for the first 15 minutes on my trip to work. By the time I came to my street to turn on, it was sprinkling. The road is a mess, puddles and water is streaming down overflowing the gutters.
I look ahead and there is an adorable 70 year old lady with a hat, and clutching her tiny purse trying to make it to the bus stop. She is running as quick as her little legs will take her. It was a bit amusing and cute. As I am getting closet to her I look out the right of my car to catch a glance of her again, and just then BAM!!!!!!! Hit a big huge pothole overflowing with rainwater. SPLASH!!!! I soak her from head to toe. She stops dead in her tracks, pauses to see what the heck just happened, looks down in disgust and wipes herself off as best she can. She proceeds to re-set her hat on top of her head, and jump starts her running pace to the bus…while I kept driving in shame.
Any other human might have stopped and offered her a lift…it was like leaving a wounded animal on the side of the road…is the Heidi really Almighty, or just a coward??
Either way, I will never forget, and the sick part of me laughs at the image of the old lady in my head. Maybe It's the Aliens who made me do it.....those damn aliens.
Almighty Heidi??
5/07/2007
Medical Findings
I like to read about new medical breakthroughs, as I have a scientific mind from my days being a nurse, but I am a bit more twisted. I think Gary Larson who made the Far Side was perhaps my soul mate.
An new recent study showed that 7 alcoholic drinks or more per week...causes brain shrinkage. More so in females than males, as females are more easily intoxicated. They actually looked at MRI's of both male and femal drinkers and non drinkers. The Volume of the brain decreased, and less blood flow with more alcohol consumption.
Now in my firm opinion, us females all know that we are intoxicaed more easily than men. Most of the time the men are the ones in hope of getting the women to this level, so the drinks keep coming, in hopes of female intoxication, which leads to promiscuity, or perhaps a body shot of some sort, or maybe some dirty dancing.
Now, I think however that the medical community was looking at the wrong brain. We as females also know, with male intoxication, it does indeed lead to....shrinkage. If they would only MRI the part of the male body that does most of the thinking anyway, they too would see...less brain volume, and less blood flow as well.
I have to end with my favorite headline of the day...there isn't too much to talk about here..... "Exercising longer, keeps the weight off"
Really?? Who would have thought!!!!
sHrInKaGe!!!!!!!!!!!!! (That was for all the Seinfeld fans)
Heidi
An new recent study showed that 7 alcoholic drinks or more per week...causes brain shrinkage. More so in females than males, as females are more easily intoxicated. They actually looked at MRI's of both male and femal drinkers and non drinkers. The Volume of the brain decreased, and less blood flow with more alcohol consumption.
Now in my firm opinion, us females all know that we are intoxicaed more easily than men. Most of the time the men are the ones in hope of getting the women to this level, so the drinks keep coming, in hopes of female intoxication, which leads to promiscuity, or perhaps a body shot of some sort, or maybe some dirty dancing.
Now, I think however that the medical community was looking at the wrong brain. We as females also know, with male intoxication, it does indeed lead to....shrinkage. If they would only MRI the part of the male body that does most of the thinking anyway, they too would see...less brain volume, and less blood flow as well.
I have to end with my favorite headline of the day...there isn't too much to talk about here..... "Exercising longer, keeps the weight off"
Really?? Who would have thought!!!!
sHrInKaGe!!!!!!!!!!!!! (That was for all the Seinfeld fans)
Heidi
5/03/2007
Passion Fruit
Ok After about a year off of Blogging...She's back, the new and improved, ever so Cynical Almighty Heidi!!!!!!!!!!
Passion Fruit:
I finished watching Pride & Prejudice and found myself in that place of “Ahhhh Romance” However this dreamlike state is rudely awakened by the children fighting and the insignificant other coming home, wanting his dinner, and damn it, there is a spot on his work shirt he was going to wear tomorrow. I wonder if this was the second half of Lizzy’s life……….
Men and women are such different species I find it somewhat annoying. Women through the ages have bought many many things, solely for the hopes of romance. Poetry, perfumes to make her feel pretty and worthy, fashion, eyelashes, hair extensions, wonder bra’s you name it.
It is pretty easy how to figure out how to sell things to these different species. For the female for instance it must be:
1. Anything Chocolate, milk chocolate, semi sweet chocolate, Dark chocolate, or ice cream with something chocolate fudge swirled inside. Easy sell.
2.It must drip of passion and romance. This is why Danielle Steele has been best seller for many years, along with the other sappy writers in the business. I must say, I have read a few and was impressed by the intimate details of Max’s throbbing manhood, and that he was soon to find out that his Uncle had left him millions, and he and his new love would ride off into the sunset happily ever after. What woman would not want that?
3.Shoes.
For the male species it must be
A. Dripping with fat: Fried Meat, Fried Cheese, Fried potatoes, Fried Butter. Throw in a beer and a big screen in a smoky bar somewhere and in his mind it is a romantic dinner out.
B. Any sort of tool, or even better, power tool. We they might never get used, but a man feels more manly, if he has more of them.
C: Anything oozing with sex.
So, my conclusion is that in the real life world, we must come together, these two species, and find away to connect romance for the woman, into oozing sex for the man. This involves deep fried cheese, fantasies about throbbing manhood, dripping in chocolate…and power tools….hmmmmmm.
Latte' Heidi
Passion Fruit:
I finished watching Pride & Prejudice and found myself in that place of “Ahhhh Romance” However this dreamlike state is rudely awakened by the children fighting and the insignificant other coming home, wanting his dinner, and damn it, there is a spot on his work shirt he was going to wear tomorrow. I wonder if this was the second half of Lizzy’s life……….
Men and women are such different species I find it somewhat annoying. Women through the ages have bought many many things, solely for the hopes of romance. Poetry, perfumes to make her feel pretty and worthy, fashion, eyelashes, hair extensions, wonder bra’s you name it.
It is pretty easy how to figure out how to sell things to these different species. For the female for instance it must be:
1. Anything Chocolate, milk chocolate, semi sweet chocolate, Dark chocolate, or ice cream with something chocolate fudge swirled inside. Easy sell.
2.It must drip of passion and romance. This is why Danielle Steele has been best seller for many years, along with the other sappy writers in the business. I must say, I have read a few and was impressed by the intimate details of Max’s throbbing manhood, and that he was soon to find out that his Uncle had left him millions, and he and his new love would ride off into the sunset happily ever after. What woman would not want that?
3.Shoes.
For the male species it must be
A. Dripping with fat: Fried Meat, Fried Cheese, Fried potatoes, Fried Butter. Throw in a beer and a big screen in a smoky bar somewhere and in his mind it is a romantic dinner out.
B. Any sort of tool, or even better, power tool. We they might never get used, but a man feels more manly, if he has more of them.
C: Anything oozing with sex.
So, my conclusion is that in the real life world, we must come together, these two species, and find away to connect romance for the woman, into oozing sex for the man. This involves deep fried cheese, fantasies about throbbing manhood, dripping in chocolate…and power tools….hmmmmmm.
Latte' Heidi
9/05/2006
Star Wars
Today, after I get home, I decide to work a bit, then maybe try and write some more in my book I will one day complete...just a dream, but everyone must have a creative outlet. My very blonde daughter is in debate in high school. It was not her first choice, or second, but she got the crappy third choice....and she did not know really what it was about, but all there was left was wood shop...so she had to pick debate.
Tonight as I am sitting with her...doing her homework...we had to write out the fact, value, and policy of a particular thing, such as age discrimination, arms trade, excellence in education, ect....
She thought arms trade....well was somehow trading arms, or some sort of orgon donar program...SERIOUSLY then star wars...was of course yoda and jabba the hut....
I belive the children are our future....oh my god.
I decided at this time, she has had a sheltered life, and her boy bands on MTV in the mornings must go, and we have to switch to CNN for awhile, to understand that life is not just about Justin Timberlake, and "Oh my god I heard he was getting married, and she is such a slut" to people are starving in Africa, and China and Iran...and most of the middle east want to see us die...
Well...maybe her world isn't so bad anyways.
Latte'
Heidi
Tonight as I am sitting with her...doing her homework...we had to write out the fact, value, and policy of a particular thing, such as age discrimination, arms trade, excellence in education, ect....
She thought arms trade....well was somehow trading arms, or some sort of orgon donar program...SERIOUSLY then star wars...was of course yoda and jabba the hut....
I belive the children are our future....oh my god.
I decided at this time, she has had a sheltered life, and her boy bands on MTV in the mornings must go, and we have to switch to CNN for awhile, to understand that life is not just about Justin Timberlake, and "Oh my god I heard he was getting married, and she is such a slut" to people are starving in Africa, and China and Iran...and most of the middle east want to see us die...
Well...maybe her world isn't so bad anyways.
Latte'
Heidi
9/04/2006
Male Bashing 101
I am still alive and decided to post a blog from long ago to keep your minds happy. I am still having alot of back issues, and think I may have one more surgery, but have decided to work on a book for the hell of it. Sooo...my blogging time is limited, but here is a blast from the past:
Man is natures sole mistake"- Princess IdaI am helping you understand 5 species of male. They all share some of the same traits, however some have dominant traits as listed below you can see in the first three days, to as which I am the most familiar with. I will share my knowledge of this species, much like Jane Goodol did, so that you may further your learning experiences.·
You find out he lives with mother. –homo maturnus
He was breast fed entirely too long and evidently the man has separation anxiety and will soon land back at his mommy’s if you take him away. (I think longevity in potty training may have happened as well, and the terrible two’s never did end. Big NO. (Personal testimony: Relationship #2 ended with a mama’s boy…and he is still living there 6 years later)·
He asks "Do you have any vices?" –homo adico
This means he does and wants to know if you do to, so he knows where and how he should cover up these addictions if you do not agree with them, so he looks like a good boy in the beginning stages. Rule of thumb: You cannot change a man. If he likes porn, he will always like porn (homo-masturbatus), if he likes to gamble, he will do so till every cent is gone, if he likes to drink, he will get drunk, if he likes to eat, he will be fat, if he likes to smoke…where is his lighter? If he likes prescription and non prescription drugs- he will always want more. BIG NO. These vices make there way out and are like a virus and have a very unhappy ending, unless you have tolerance for any of the above, or are involved yourself and choose to pursue regardless, and try and put the "fun" in dysfunctional.(My relationships (1,2 and 3)with any of these involved other than alcohol and cigarettes proved to be the number one relationship death cause. R.I.P)·
He farts, spits, or burps in and out of public. –homo odius
These behaviors root themselves back to the ages of the early man. I think it may have been there first means of communication that other cavemen could understand. However through the ages amongst the female counterpart we have found it absurd and annoying. Here are the rules of thumb to follow. If he is at a football game and there are other men around, it is just his ego, proving to the other men, that indeed he is a man. These behaviors must be overlooked especially if the other men present are communicating to the same degree. It is the nature of a man to expel these sounds around the same sex. However, if you are at dinner with friends sipping wine and he loudly belches, you must kick him firmly underneath the table, and shoot him "the glance"" to curb this instinct that is so natural to him after a meal. If this does not work, the next business dinner he has, drink a can of rootbeer before leaving and loudly belch during conversation with the higher ups of his company. This however is a double edged sword. This may curb the behavior, or, it may influence his business partners to do the same. If this behavior is on a consistent basis, depending on your tolerance level…BIG NO. It will annoy you until your death bed, or the death of the relationship. (Relationship #2, life smells a whole lot better now)·
The "wandering eye"- homo aspecto
MMMHHHMM. Now women’s egos don’t even come close to a man’s. However, a man’s "wandering" eye can make a woman…A) Furiously jealous leading her into new realms of snooping she never knew possible. She figures if a man looks, he defiantly touches. She will look at cell phone numbers, rummage through his wallet and pockets, and become an amazing detective. Her nerves will be shot, and she will be snippy, short tempered, and have annoying habits like pen chewing or foot tapping.B) Anorexic, thinking that she does not look good enough. Countless hours will be spent on the treadmill trying to look like Cindy Crawford. She may show signs of compulsive hair coloring. It is a painful, agonizing way of showing co-dependency.C) Fat: Ben and Jerry’s will become her comfort, and sometimes a bit too much alcohol to take away the sting as you saw his eyes looking up her body, then back down, as he is trying to keep the drool from gathering on his lips. But girl, one day you got to get up and get up off those brownies. Self punishment is satisfying, until the day you look in the mirror and see folds of cellulite.Some of the male species covers up the "EYE" and pretend that they were really looking at a spot on the wall, or their shoelace, in fear of the female’s wicked and cruel retribution for this act. Other males, who grew up with entirely too much testosterone, male bonding, and beer can bashing men see it as a birthright and women were made to be looked at. …This species of man are highly connected to the insecure mama’s boys as listed above. The whole breastfeeding too long thing here has a connection, as the breasts are always the main focal point his eyes directly wander too. (Relationship #1 and occasional #3)·
The "control freak" –homo domina
This on has a more serious tone to it. He wants to know where you are and who you are with at all times. If you are a well behaved relationship girl, and there is no cause for concern on his end this is a big red flag get out!!! He will go through your pockets, call your work and be accusatory in every other word of his conversation with you, and control any income you make. This man did not get enough love, he was the bottle fed one left in his crib to scream. His father always told him he was a bad child and could do no good. This is more a father issue than a bottle fed one. He may be verbally or physically abusive to make him feel more "in control" when we all know he is entirely out of control, and taking you down to the levels deeper than hell itself. No way to live, and there is some deep down very bad warped, need counseling kind of issue there, that is beyond your instinct of " I can change him and make him better" Nooooo…. you need to run… or buy a very large gun. (Relationship #2)·
The Pig-homo grunnitus
If his apartment is a pigsty… why in the world do you think he would change his ways now? Some may make the effort of shoving all their belongings that are on the floor under a bed or in the closet, much like they did when they were 7. To some this may be a sweet gesture. However, there is a musty, locker room, animal dying odor that painfully takes your nostrils over. Dinner at his place is not a sanitary option…and the toilet seat…OH MY GOD. His mommy did not potty train him properly, and I assume he is still a bed wetter, because no one in there right mind would use such a facility. (Absolutly relationship#3)
latte'
Heidi
Man is natures sole mistake"- Princess IdaI am helping you understand 5 species of male. They all share some of the same traits, however some have dominant traits as listed below you can see in the first three days, to as which I am the most familiar with. I will share my knowledge of this species, much like Jane Goodol did, so that you may further your learning experiences.·
You find out he lives with mother. –homo maturnus
He was breast fed entirely too long and evidently the man has separation anxiety and will soon land back at his mommy’s if you take him away. (I think longevity in potty training may have happened as well, and the terrible two’s never did end. Big NO. (Personal testimony: Relationship #2 ended with a mama’s boy…and he is still living there 6 years later)·
He asks "Do you have any vices?" –homo adico
This means he does and wants to know if you do to, so he knows where and how he should cover up these addictions if you do not agree with them, so he looks like a good boy in the beginning stages. Rule of thumb: You cannot change a man. If he likes porn, he will always like porn (homo-masturbatus), if he likes to gamble, he will do so till every cent is gone, if he likes to drink, he will get drunk, if he likes to eat, he will be fat, if he likes to smoke…where is his lighter? If he likes prescription and non prescription drugs- he will always want more. BIG NO. These vices make there way out and are like a virus and have a very unhappy ending, unless you have tolerance for any of the above, or are involved yourself and choose to pursue regardless, and try and put the "fun" in dysfunctional.(My relationships (1,2 and 3)with any of these involved other than alcohol and cigarettes proved to be the number one relationship death cause. R.I.P)·
He farts, spits, or burps in and out of public. –homo odius
These behaviors root themselves back to the ages of the early man. I think it may have been there first means of communication that other cavemen could understand. However through the ages amongst the female counterpart we have found it absurd and annoying. Here are the rules of thumb to follow. If he is at a football game and there are other men around, it is just his ego, proving to the other men, that indeed he is a man. These behaviors must be overlooked especially if the other men present are communicating to the same degree. It is the nature of a man to expel these sounds around the same sex. However, if you are at dinner with friends sipping wine and he loudly belches, you must kick him firmly underneath the table, and shoot him "the glance"" to curb this instinct that is so natural to him after a meal. If this does not work, the next business dinner he has, drink a can of rootbeer before leaving and loudly belch during conversation with the higher ups of his company. This however is a double edged sword. This may curb the behavior, or, it may influence his business partners to do the same. If this behavior is on a consistent basis, depending on your tolerance level…BIG NO. It will annoy you until your death bed, or the death of the relationship. (Relationship #2, life smells a whole lot better now)·
The "wandering eye"- homo aspecto
MMMHHHMM. Now women’s egos don’t even come close to a man’s. However, a man’s "wandering" eye can make a woman…A) Furiously jealous leading her into new realms of snooping she never knew possible. She figures if a man looks, he defiantly touches. She will look at cell phone numbers, rummage through his wallet and pockets, and become an amazing detective. Her nerves will be shot, and she will be snippy, short tempered, and have annoying habits like pen chewing or foot tapping.B) Anorexic, thinking that she does not look good enough. Countless hours will be spent on the treadmill trying to look like Cindy Crawford. She may show signs of compulsive hair coloring. It is a painful, agonizing way of showing co-dependency.C) Fat: Ben and Jerry’s will become her comfort, and sometimes a bit too much alcohol to take away the sting as you saw his eyes looking up her body, then back down, as he is trying to keep the drool from gathering on his lips. But girl, one day you got to get up and get up off those brownies. Self punishment is satisfying, until the day you look in the mirror and see folds of cellulite.Some of the male species covers up the "EYE" and pretend that they were really looking at a spot on the wall, or their shoelace, in fear of the female’s wicked and cruel retribution for this act. Other males, who grew up with entirely too much testosterone, male bonding, and beer can bashing men see it as a birthright and women were made to be looked at. …This species of man are highly connected to the insecure mama’s boys as listed above. The whole breastfeeding too long thing here has a connection, as the breasts are always the main focal point his eyes directly wander too. (Relationship #1 and occasional #3)·
The "control freak" –homo domina
This on has a more serious tone to it. He wants to know where you are and who you are with at all times. If you are a well behaved relationship girl, and there is no cause for concern on his end this is a big red flag get out!!! He will go through your pockets, call your work and be accusatory in every other word of his conversation with you, and control any income you make. This man did not get enough love, he was the bottle fed one left in his crib to scream. His father always told him he was a bad child and could do no good. This is more a father issue than a bottle fed one. He may be verbally or physically abusive to make him feel more "in control" when we all know he is entirely out of control, and taking you down to the levels deeper than hell itself. No way to live, and there is some deep down very bad warped, need counseling kind of issue there, that is beyond your instinct of " I can change him and make him better" Nooooo…. you need to run… or buy a very large gun. (Relationship #2)·
The Pig-homo grunnitus
If his apartment is a pigsty… why in the world do you think he would change his ways now? Some may make the effort of shoving all their belongings that are on the floor under a bed or in the closet, much like they did when they were 7. To some this may be a sweet gesture. However, there is a musty, locker room, animal dying odor that painfully takes your nostrils over. Dinner at his place is not a sanitary option…and the toilet seat…OH MY GOD. His mommy did not potty train him properly, and I assume he is still a bed wetter, because no one in there right mind would use such a facility. (Absolutly relationship#3)
latte'
Heidi
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